How Do I Know If I’m Doing a Good Job as a Mom?
I received an email the other day from a single mom of twins. She has been struggling for many years trying to juggle motherhood, providing for her family, ending a sorrowful divorce and trying to be happy for her girls through it all. In her letter she wrote, “I am ready to give up. I don’t know how much more I can do. I am just pushing through.”
To her I would like to say – you are doing a good job.
I got a phone call from a friend the other day who was having a hard time with her three year old. Trying to figure out how to discipline and teach her how to obey has been a struggle {like ALL toddlers -right?!} She said, “whatever I am doing is NOT working – but I am trying my best.” Through a frustrated, but loving moms voice, I heard her almost begging for help.
To her I would like to say – you are doing a good job.
My sister has five children – FIVE. I have looked up to her my entire life! Trying to help an 11 year old with self-confidence, a 10 year old with homework, two toddlers with life and a new adventurous baby on her hip… she has her arms full. To the max. I love talking to her and hearing how she somehow manages life every single day. She says, “we just take one day at a time.”
To her I would like to say – you are doing a good job.
The mom who is LIVING in the hospital because her baby just can’t get well… you are doing a good job. The mom who works all day outside the home to provide for her family and comes home at 6pm just in time to feed the kids, play for a minute, put them to bed and then do it all over again the next day… you are doing a good job.
The mom who lost her child and somehow still takes care of her other children and puts a smile on her face, but inside her eyes and heart there is pain… you are doing a good job.
The mom who is living off of one hour of sleep today because her baby just won’t sleep…. you are doing a good job. The mom who is laying on the couch reading this article after a long day on the job as a full-time mom… you are doing a good job.
As moms we all have moments of frustration and stress – moments where we feel we are failures and just not good enough.
If you can see ONE of these 10 signs in your life – you should know that you, just like the women above, are doing a good job.
All photos on this article are taken by our incredibly talented photographer, Christine Olson Photography
How Can I Be a Good Mom?
10 SIGNS YOU’RE DOING A GOOD JOB AS A MOM….{TWEET THIS}
1. A GOOD MOM KNOWS WHO SHE IS: You aren’t JUST a mom. You are much more than that. A good moms knows the important role that she has in her family’s life. Believe in who you are and who you are becoming. Gordon B. Hinckley said, “We must never lose sight of the strength of the women. It is MOTHERS who directly affect the lives of their children. Their influence is paramount.”
2. A GOOD MOM HAS HER PRIORITIES STRAIGHT: If you have left the house without a shower before – you’re a good mom. If you have fallen asleep on the rocking chair with a fussy baby in your arms before – you’re a good mom. If you have chosen to stay in with your family on a Friday night, rather than go out with your friends – you’re a good mom. If you have gone to Target at 10pm just to walk around while the children are in bed and it felt like a vacation – you’re a good mom. If you have seen poop on your pants and it didn’t even phase you because you are use to it – you’re a good mom.
3. A GOOD MOM HAS BAD DAYS: Those days that you just watch the clock wondering when it is bed time. Those days that one thing happens after another and you think it’s a joke. Those days you just want to sit in a warm bath and never get out. Those days where you have no patience, disobedient children, screaming babies and a gigantic headache? — Good moms have bad days.
4. A GOOD MOM HAS GOOD DAYS: But not every day is bad. You then have those days where it feels as if all the stars have aligned because EVERYTHING just goes your way. You wake up before the kids and have breakfast made, a workout done and the dishes put away. You jump from one activity to another, everyone is happy, everyone is fed and everyone is dressed. Nap time lasts a little longer than usual and you wish every day was that good. — Good moms have good days too.
5. A GOOD MOM UNDERSTANDS SIMPLICITY: You realize and understand that you don’t have to do it all. You know how to say “no” and live a simple life. You don’t always have to be on the go and you don’t always have to not be home. You know the importance of just spending time playing with dolls and puzzles in the nursery. And some days are pajama days.
6. A GOOD MOM IS READY FOR BED: A good mom doesn’t necessarily always have a ton of energy. In most cases, a good mom is exhausted. She spends her day doing so much for other people, she is ready to hit the hay at 7pm.
7. A GOOD MOM WORRIES, HOPES AND PRAYS: “Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.” – Unknown
>8. A GOOD MOM ENCOURAGES AND SUPPORTS: A good mom wants the very best for her children. You know how to compliment, cheer and uplift. Through the things that you say, performances you attend, stories you read, classes you take, places you drop off and hugs that you give – you let your children know that they are loved. And that is what is most important.
9. A GOOD MOM KNOWS HOW TO LAUGH: You laugh at spilled milk. You laugh at ANOTHER blow out diaper. You laugh when you can’t find the keys to your car. You laugh when nothing is going your way. Marjorie Pay Hinckley said, “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”
10. A GOOD MOM ISN’T PERFECT: Most importantly, a good mom isn’t perfect. A good mom will make mistakes. A good mom will wonder “what in the world did I do.” A good mom will be confused, frustrated, anxious and nervous. A good mom learns from her mistakes and tries to do better the next time.
If you fall under one of those categories, you should know that…
YOU are doing a good job too.
You may also like The Truth About Date Night When You Are Parents and 10 Reasons You Should Love Your Wife’s Mom Bun.
Don’t forget to share this with all the good moms you know! –
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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
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Jessica
February 2, 2017 at 5:26 pm (8 years ago)Thank you for writing such a beautiful post. The list is inclusive, it includes all moms!
Leah
December 3, 2016 at 3:13 am (8 years ago)As a mom who lost her child and still gets up to take care of her other ones all day every day as the only parent, laying here to read this after a full day with my kids, on 1 hours sleep because my one year old was up all night, ready to cry because I’m questioning if I’m doing any of it right..thank you.
Jane Allen
June 17, 2016 at 12:27 pm (9 years ago)A good mom prays. I like that. I used to worry a lot. Before having kids and after. It was worse after having kids because I was always worried about what was going on with them, where they were, who they were with, etc. Over time, I’ve grown to trust God with them. By praying for them. I do that everyday and I have peace about them. I know things are going to work for my good and that of my family. Thanks for the share!
Myriade
May 15, 2016 at 4:28 pm (9 years ago)Thank you Danielle for your encouraging words. Beautiful.
Danielle Davis
June 7, 2016 at 9:49 pm (9 years ago)Myriade that is so nice of you. Thank you for stopping by and for being wonderful.
Dee
May 15, 2016 at 2:58 am (9 years ago)This is just what I needed to hear. I’m a single parent of three and unfortunately, my youngest daughter is disabled. Not to mention, I’m also disabled. I pray for strength daily as I walk this walk. I ask Jesus to keep me as I struggle to take care of myself so that I will be able to take care of my daughter. Her dad passed away about a year ago so all we have is the help of the Lord. I know that God only gives you what you can handle so I know that my daughter and I will be just fine. I’m doing my best and that’s all that God asks us to do…love you ladies! If we could all just pray for each other, please…
Danielle Davis
June 7, 2016 at 10:13 pm (9 years ago)Dee, thank you for your comment. You are so inspirational to me and my prayers are always with you that you will be strong through your struggle.
Shannon
May 5, 2016 at 3:33 am (9 years ago)Great reminders! I have an almost-three year old and a six-week-old and today was one of those tough days. Both my husband (who is a stay-at-home dad) and I sat on the couch at 10 PM after the baby was down, absolutely exhausted. We just ate our ice cream in quiet. But despite the exhaustion, we’re both good parents and need to remember that now of all times.
Mallorie Clausnitzer
April 18, 2016 at 2:18 am (9 years ago)I know this is an older post, but I just came across it on Pinterest. Thank you so much for this. I am not a very young mom, but I did leave my goal in of being a buyer for a big company to being a SHAM and learning to work from home. It is hard. Today I could just cry, my business is slow, my baby girl is teething. And bills just seem to be piling up. I feel like such a failure today. Thanks for telling me I am a good mom.🙂🙂
christina
April 9, 2016 at 5:54 am (9 years ago)Oh I so needed to read/hear this. Thank you, I agree with you, all moms need uplifting once in a while.
Mama of two
March 19, 2016 at 7:11 pm (9 years ago)Thanks you for this. I so needed to read this today. Like most I strive to be the best mother I can but feel that I fall short a lot of times. It’s amazing how many of those things I can relate to. One thing is for sure, I know God gave me th most precious gift of all in my children and i cherish it everyday even if I’m not everything I want to be as their mother. Thanks
Jeff
March 11, 2016 at 4:14 pm (9 years ago)I noticed all the comments were from young mothers so I thought I would offer my perspective.
I am a father and a grandfather of wonderful children. My wife and my daughter-in-law are good moms.
The points in this article are right on the money!
When I was younger there was a saying “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the nation.” The job of a mom is extremely important and I mourn the fact that today’s society has belittled that role.
A mom is a doctor, a lawyer, a chemist, a dietitian, a negotiator, a psychiatrist, a manager, a CEO, a CFO, a confidant, and a friend (and much more), no wonder you are tired at the end of the day!
Remember you are building adults.
Let me encourage you with this thought. The end result is worth the effort. There is no greater joy than to see your children grow into adulthood.
Keep up the good work. You are appreciated by more people that you realize.
Claudy
April 14, 2016 at 2:39 am (9 years ago)Thank ou for your comment.
I would not trade for a minute my career as a SAHM with 4 beautifull kids 7, 5, 3 and 1.
But many days I wonder if I am doing what I should, praying that they will grow up to be the men and woman God wants them to be !!!
Never thought my office would be my kitchen and that at 37 years of age I would still be a full time student learning along with 4 kids!!!
Hugs from Guatemala
Lori
March 5, 2016 at 4:36 pm (9 years ago)Omg!! Thank you, I needed to read this today!!I have 5 kids…3 teenagers, a preteen and a kindergartner!! Thank you for the encouragement!!
Chelsea Love
March 3, 2016 at 3:54 am (9 years ago)Although I read this one above quite a bit, this really was an amazing and inspiring article. Sometimes we all lose track of what we’re actually doing because we focus so much on what we can’t do for ourselves and others. What a amazing reminder that we are great (even on our bad days.)
Rebecca
February 21, 2016 at 12:59 am (9 years ago)Thank you for a nice read. I am a full time student with barely an associates and a long road ahead, while trying to be the best mother to my boys, 1 and 4 years old. All the while tackling the role of dad because my husband is deployed overseas. I was struggling with school and confessed to my husband that I don’t know how I’m going to be a full time mom, student, and wife when we are finally reunited. Your post means so much because all I can do to get through all of this is to just try my best. So thank you.
Zeynep
February 7, 2016 at 8:10 pm (9 years ago)Thanks for such an encouraging article.moms sometimes need to be reminded that they are doing great job
Erica
January 30, 2016 at 4:19 pm (9 years ago)So needed to see this as I am dealing now with my struggle in discontentment from not feeling that I am a good mom. Thanks.
Insiyah
January 28, 2016 at 8:20 pm (9 years ago)Wow! This is literally exactly what i needed to hear! I clinked on the link embracing myself to take the critique if im not a good mom.
Im in tears… thank you!
Emily
January 26, 2016 at 11:19 pm (9 years ago)This post is a blessing to me. I’m a first time mom of a 8 months old little boy and I am a student and work part-time. Sometimes it feels like I never do enough. I do all of this to help make a better life for my family. Sometimes I feel very alone in how I feel but it’s so nice to know I’m not alone in my struggle.
Angie
January 24, 2016 at 11:28 pm (9 years ago)This is just what I needed to hear today! Thank you so much for such an amazing message!
Hannah Spray
January 23, 2016 at 1:44 am (9 years ago)This is wonderful! It made me tear up. This is exactly the reason I love blogging, and exactly the kind of thing I love to see, and love to write.
YOU ARE A GOOD MOM!!
And YOU are a fantastic person. Thank you for this. I’m going to go share the crap out of it now. I know a lot of mamas who need this right now. Me included.
amanda
January 18, 2016 at 12:53 am (9 years ago)thank you !!! i am a single mother of a 10 month old boy who is beyond full of energy some days i just can’t keep up. i don’t get help from his father yet he bashes me and tells me im a bad mom .. let me laugh in his face cause im the one that gave up my freedom to be the best mom i can !!!
Sumbuleram
January 14, 2016 at 5:32 am (9 years ago)Its so true…. thanks for this it’s really a booster for all mothers like us who r struggling everyday with these pretty little humans…..
Thanks
Amy Arnold
January 6, 2016 at 8:16 pm (9 years ago)Mom of 6 here love the article I could basically relate to all of it 😍
amanda
January 18, 2016 at 1:00 am (9 years ago)wow !!! thats crazy lol id lose my mind especially if they all had the energy like my lil man has
Regina
January 3, 2016 at 7:08 am (9 years ago)A true article indeed. A great reminder to all us moms who sometimes wonder are we really a good mom? Am I doing everything right? God is our strength & we just have to trust He has us in those hard moments. God bless!
Priya
December 30, 2015 at 9:38 am (9 years ago)I just needed it and I ve it
Many points are like me…
Love u for this
Ann-Lorraine
December 16, 2015 at 7:53 pm (9 years ago)Thank you for this – I needed it today. Just shared your blog with the ladies at MOPS, too. Merry Christmas!
Ash
December 14, 2015 at 3:52 am (9 years ago)This is the most inspiring message I have read in a long time. Thank you. It make me see that it’s not just me and someone cares about us mothers. Any books on juggling it all can you suggest? Great message again
Ash
December 14, 2015 at 3:52 am (9 years ago)This is the most inspiring message I have read in a long time. Thank you. It make me see that it’s not just me and someone cares about us mothers. Any books on juggling it all can you suggest? Great message against
Isabelle
December 8, 2015 at 7:23 pm (9 years ago)This blog post is wonderfully encouraging. There are so many mothers who are doing it right but don’t realize it. They are unnecessarily hard on themselves. I will pin this on my Pinterest board to encourage my mother-friends. They all need to read this. Thank you!
Rolene
December 8, 2015 at 4:33 pm (9 years ago)Thank you for this awesome article! It is so much appreciated.
Jess
December 8, 2015 at 8:40 am (9 years ago)Great read! Very heart felt and warming. However, correct me if I’m wrong, I feel as if this article mainly speaks to ‘stay at home moms’. I work 40+ hours a week so I don’t have time once I get off, cook dinner, make sure school stuff is seen and complete, bath time, book time and cuddle to work out or do anything outside of focus my all on my child. My days with my child (other than weekends) consist of 4-4.5 max and I still feel all of what you said. Food for thought I guess. My response in no way is saying that a stay at home mom isn’t hard work because it is but be fortunate that you don’t have your careers responsibilities on top of raising a child or children. Love to all mothers that are there for their children and work their hardest to be the best mommy they can be for their children!!!
Jasmine
December 7, 2015 at 10:16 pm (9 years ago)Hi, I am A mother of 2 kids. 9&13 but the the problem is I don’t know how to be a good mother. I have a temper that drives me crazy. I can’t spend time with my kids because of that. Please help me want can I do to be a good mother.
kj
March 12, 2016 at 8:39 am (9 years ago)I have a temper as well but at the end of the day when I noticed it coming out in small ways I asked myself what did it matter in a larger scale, in the bigger picture how does it matter?… Patience is something i am learning every day. You are a good mother regardless of your temper. The fact that youre asking for help is proof enough. Do the best you can and you will find everything falling in place. Try some lavender to keep yourself in a calm mood….your temper could be triggered by something else entirely… Sugar levels, abnormal hormone fluctuation… Figure out why your good days are better than most???
chelsea
December 3, 2015 at 7:00 pm (9 years ago)You are wonderful! Thank you for this article! The target at 10pm thing is TOTALLYYYY me. Best time to go!
Ann
November 24, 2015 at 7:48 am (9 years ago)Awesome article! And all true. May I add one more thought? A good mom apologizes, after bad days or moments she humbles herself and asks for forgiveness even from a toddler. That one small sincere act will go further than you can see right now.
Shera
November 26, 2015 at 4:04 am (9 years ago)I agree, apologizing to your children let’s them know you aren’t perfect, and you can see that everyone needs to apologize when they are wrong. The world needs more of that.
Klaudia
November 3, 2015 at 9:22 pm (9 years ago)This is the best article I’ve read in so long! I feel like this just speaks to me. Thank you so much! Great writing and great advice! Very positive 🙂 http://www.shoesstylesmile.wordpress.com xx
Chelsea
April 3, 2015 at 2:09 am (10 years ago)thank you for this article I found it on Pinterest and I’ve always struggled if I’m a good mom or not to my two year old and your article points clearly that I am
aSma
March 24, 2015 at 2:06 am (10 years ago)There is a reason that I am reading this at 6am and tearing up. I know the kind of busy day that is coming ahead, but after reading this article I know that I am blessed because I have these kind of days only because I am a mom. Hopefully a good mom!
Whitney
December 3, 2015 at 6:57 pm (9 years ago)I think it’s a sign that you definitely are a good mom, especially since it touched your heart. That’s my vote, anyway! 😊
Romina Gómez
January 3, 2015 at 3:56 am (10 years ago)I found you on pinterest…I dont really remember how, but here I am, and I thank God for this.
Danielle, you are the answer to the secret prayer i’ve been keeping this days. Thank you very much for your time and love. Let me add another sign to your already perfect list:
“If you’re helping others moms to remember their value and strength, then you’re doing a good job as a mother, and as a disciple of Christ”.
with love and gratitud,
Romina <3
Romina Gómez
January 3, 2015 at 3:58 am (10 years ago)*gratitude!
sorry, I usually mixes english with spanish! hahaha!
Keelie Reason
December 27, 2014 at 1:36 am (10 years ago)Wow, what amazing encouragement. Thanks for writing this. I know all of us moms need to be reminded that it is hard work to raise a child…or two…or three..
Keep up the great work.
amanda mcmahon
November 24, 2014 at 7:31 am (10 years ago)I think you make valid points – as a mom we are more than “just a mom” but we have to also reflect on where we have been and where we are going.
Danielle Davis
November 25, 2014 at 6:10 pm (10 years ago)Hi Amanda! You totally are more than “just a mom” and I want to thank you for being so great! Keep up the good work and thanks for commenting today!
Taya
November 23, 2014 at 7:52 am (10 years ago)I feel that any mother there for their children are great moms! So many abandon their kids or mistreat them. Cheers to the good ones!
Danielle Davis
November 25, 2014 at 6:08 pm (10 years ago)I couldn’t agree more Taya. So many children are neglected and forgotten today. Moms who care truly can change the world for their kids. That’s why it is so important for moms to know that they are doing a good job. Thanks so much for your comment!
Lisa@2PerfectionDecor
November 22, 2014 at 4:00 am (10 years ago)Well said Danielle!! I guess I am a GOOD MOM! Thanks for your inspiring words!
Lisa
Danielle Davis
November 25, 2014 at 6:06 pm (10 years ago)Hi Lisa! It’s so good to hear you enjoyed this list. It’s so important for all moms to know that they are GOOD moms. It’s one of the most thankless jobs in the world. Doing your best and working hard every day is exactly what great moms do and it sounds like you are one of them! Thanks for commenting today!
MJ
November 22, 2014 at 2:34 am (10 years ago)Danielle you just touched my heart. My eyes are barely open at this hour so yes I’m a good mom! This post is so perfect and so on time. Cheers to you good mom! Cheers to you.
Danielle Davis
November 25, 2014 at 6:07 pm (10 years ago)Cheers to you MJ! Thanks for your kind words and for commenting!