The day I married my best friend changed my life forever! Everyone always says their wedding day is “the best day of their lives” and I believe it was for me as well… but it seems like since that day, my life with my husband just keeps getting better and better!
Don’t get me wrong… we have had very hard days. We have had arguments, a miscarriage, flat tires, dead batteries, lack of income, speeding tickets and family deaths. We have been late for work, late for church, ran out of food in our cupboards, failed fertility treatments and have had prayers answered differently than we had hoped.
BUT, I am writing this today to tell you how we got through these hard, horrible, nerve-racking, nail-biting, hair-pulling days. AND how we have stayed best friends through it all.
We were only married six months when we had our first really big “trial,” if you will. We were nearly ten weeks pregnant at the time and had planned on hearing our little baby’s heartbeat for the first time the next day! One Sunday morning, we woke up to find out that we had lost our little guy. We were heart broken and it was probably one of the hardest days of my life…ever.
After my husband and I experienced this hard tragedy we tried for several years to get pregnant. One failed procedure after the other was beyond hard on our marriage. I was extremely hormonal and my man tried his hardest to have patience. We learned through these years of struggling, the importance of LOVE. We learned the importance of HAVING FUN. We learned the importance of DATING. We learned the importance of BEING EACHOTHERS NUMBER ONE FANS. We learned the importance of STAYING BEST FRIENDS.
I have come up with 10 Ways to Stay Best Friends Forever with your Husband! {Tweet This} I know this is one of the most important things a marriage needs to stay healthy and I hope one or two of these points can help you and your man!
1. DATE NIGHT: Before you get married, you date ALL the time. Right?! He took you on the most incredible and amazing adventures. He opened you car door, walked you to your doorstep and you got a kiss goodnight.
We have learned that one-on-one time with your spouse is absolutely necessary…even MORE necessary after you put a ring on it. Don’t let children or babies be the excuse of not being able to have date night. My favorite date nights these days are putting the babe to sleep and eating Buffalo Wild Wings while watching a movie on the couch together! It is SO fun and that quality time together is irreplaceable. Click here to read: How To Date Your Husband
2. SURPRISE HIM: Surprises can be small or big. From extravagant trips and surprises across the country to as little as bringing home a favorite candy bar on a bad day, surprises are the perfect way to show love. The most simple surprises can bring your husband the most happiness.
3. FORGIVENESS: When we get stressed it is easy to become quick to anger or maybe say things we don’t mean. BUT forgiveness is completely necessary. Sometimes I struggle with holding grudges or remembering what someone said YEARS ago that hurt me. But when we bring forgivness into our hearts, we will be happier! And it is much easier to find the good in others when we are not focusing on the bad.
4. LAUGH TOGETHER: This is pretty self-explanatory. HAVE FUN! In marriage, sometimes things get so serious. We are focusing on money, taking care of the baby, the dirty house, laundry, dishes and getting everything done that is on our lists that we create for ourselves.
I encourage you to slow down and have some fun. Laugh a little! Laugh with your husband! When you do something embarrassing, laugh with each other! When you make a mistake, laugh together! When you watch a funny movie, laugh out loud! LAUGH. Just do it! The world needs more of it. YOU need more of it. Your MARRIAGE needs more of it.
5. PRAY TOGETHER: Through the hardest days of our life together, I have found us kneeling in prayer. Stay close to God – He will help you through hard days. I know we stay close to him through prayer. Pray by yourself. Pray with your husband. Pray as a family. You will feel His love and your marriage will be bright!
6. TELL HIM YOUR SECRETS: When you think of a BEST friend, what do you think of? I always think of my life back in elementary school… you tell your best friend your secrets! Tell your man EVERYTHING. Sometimes I tell mine so much, I think he stops listening. 🙂
In fact, I love to talk and I am SO guilty of telling him every detail of every thing about every day in every second. So often, my husband will get home from work and I will ask him how his day was.
He answers with a simple, “Good” and in return asks me how my day was. That is when I start talking and don’t stop talking.Tell each other everything. Be open. Don’t keep anything away from him.
7. GROW AND CHANGE TOGETHER: I love that in life we can always grow! EVERYONE changes. It makes me sad when I hear of couples breaking up because they “changed.” It is my hope that as we change in life, that we can change TOGETHER as a couple. If we are participating in uplifting activities, setting goals, achieving goals and working hard… we will become BETTER and grow and change together.
8. SUPPORT HIS INTERESTS: My husband will probably laugh at me when he reads this one, but I do believe it to be true! About three years ago, my man became an awesome gym-goer! He goes to the gym daily and works out like superman. I on the other hand, absolutely hate the gym and seriously would rather get an extra hour of sleep than go run and lift weights. I have learned though, that even though the gym isn’t my favorite thing, it is one of HIS favorites. And I have learned to support him and give him time to do what he loves to do.
9. EVERYONE NEEDS TO FEEL LOVED: Did you know that guys love hugs and kisses too? I know… they are so manly, but they like to feel loved! Every time your man walks in the door, give him a big hug and kiss. Let him know that he was missed! Just as much as you want to feel loved, the guys do too. They want to come home to a wife who is excited to see them and welcomes him home!
10. NEVER STOP LOVING HIM: Through every hard minute, day, week, month or even YEAR… NEVER stop loving each other. I know there are hard days and I know there are times he may drive you absolutely nuts, but I hope you never stop loving him. I hope he never stops loving you.
Work together, become better together and BE together. As we spend time with our spouses, I know we will be able to fall more in love with them. And those feelings of being best friends will truly last forever!
Maria
July 4, 2016 at 2:53 am (8 years ago)Loved this post, and you’re absolutely right about all the tips. I’m going to send this to my little sister who is planning to get married in a few months. Thanks!
Andreafoxx
March 23, 2016 at 8:07 pm (9 years ago)I am engaged to an wonderful man and we be married soon this be my first marriage I love him much
nichole
September 19, 2015 at 4:23 pm (9 years ago)My husband and I have been married for less than one year and he used to be my best friend ever. Not any more. I thank you for your tips I want to rebuild our friend ship.. Pray for us. I love the dude
Kelly
November 4, 2014 at 2:37 pm (10 years ago)Love this! My husband is my best friend. I love that you dedicated this post to your husband and to all the husbands out there. Even though some of us have kids/will have kids, it’s our husbands that will be by our sides the longest! So, it’s so nice to just refresh my purpose by reading this. Thanks for your blog!
Erika C.
September 2, 2014 at 4:54 am (10 years ago)This is a really useful list! I’ve given myself the challenge of trying all the strategies in “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love,” and the first strategy is about being friends with your spouse, so I will definitely include these in my plans for the week.
Chantel
July 11, 2014 at 12:29 am (10 years ago)I wish I could say that I married my best friend. We haven’t yet been that for each other. So, please cherish your relationships if you have that special bond.
Adrianne
July 10, 2014 at 5:17 pm (10 years ago)These are all so true! My 13th anniversary is next month and with 2 boys 11 and 9 life can get crazy and we forget that our husband is our best friend and just the roommate. Thank you for reminding us (me!) what made the man I married my best friend to begin with how to reconnect daily with him!!
Shaela
June 9, 2014 at 10:10 pm (11 years ago)Great list! I agree completely, and I especially loved #7. John and I have 4 kids now and have been married for almost 12 years, and we have changed a LOT!! But like you said, we have grown and changed together and that has been a huge difference between us and some of our friends whose marriages ended. We’re even “bester” friends than we were when we got married. 🙂
katy
June 8, 2014 at 9:16 pm (11 years ago)I married my best friend too. Our story is very similar to yours (even the sad parts) bit we have made it through the other side. Just going to have a read of How to date your husband, as that is something that has got lost after having 2 kids. Really need to focus on ‘us’ time again. xx
Alicia Compton
January 25, 2014 at 1:34 am (11 years ago)I absolutely love this post from your blog I had to share it!! My fiance and I are getting married next year and we already do all of this!! Everything you explained is true…the love of my life is my best friend and I would not have it any other way!! I think these are some very important points that leads to a happy and healthy marriage!!
Danielle Davis
January 26, 2014 at 4:43 am (11 years ago)Hi Alicia! Thank you so much for your nice comment!! Congratulations on getting married… that is seriously SO exciting!! Thank you for sharing it too! I hope we can keep in touch and stay connected. Married life is the BEST! I know you will love it!
Stephanie
January 15, 2014 at 9:27 pm (11 years ago)Hi Danielle! This is so cool and spot on! My soon to be sister in law ( brother in law’s fiancé) posted this page on pinterest, and I think it’s great for all couples to see that none of us have a perfect relationship. The important thing is how you work through those un perfect times.
PS pretty sure you live in Vegas with me… and Pretty sure I saw you at McKenzie Stewart’s surprise birthday party one year? correct me if I’m wrong. Small world though if I’m not!
Danielle Davis
January 16, 2014 at 12:31 am (11 years ago)Hi Stephanie! Thanks so much for the nice comments! I just checked out your blog and yes you are so familiar! I was totally at McKenzie’s party! That is hilarious and such a small world!! Nice connecting with you again! Thank you again for your sweet words and congratulations on that beautiful baby of yours!
Calista
January 15, 2014 at 3:15 pm (11 years ago)Vanessa, you are a girl after my own heart. After reading your blog, I realize we are a lot alike. My husband, also, is my best friend. I appreciated all the tips… laughing is our favorite. (We have tons of inside jokes.) AND, I’ll go you one better: we work together. So, let’s see- we work together, commute to and from work together, live together, sleep together, then wake up and do it all over again. Funny thing- we like it that way. We hate being separated! Anyway, love your blog. Thanks!!!
Danielle Davis
January 16, 2014 at 12:27 am (11 years ago)WOW! You guys get to spend a lot of time together and I am so glad that you LOVE it! That makes me so happy!! I wish my husband and I never had to be a part! Thank you so much for your nice comment! Keep in touch!
LuAnn Braley
January 12, 2014 at 11:23 pm (11 years ago)(Following from the group Bloggy Moms.)
What wonderful insights. And from one so young! I am *ahem* a few years older than you and each tip I read, I was nodding my head. Very inspiring.
Danielle Davis
January 13, 2014 at 12:24 am (11 years ago)Hi LuAnn! Thank you so much for your sweet comment! That means SO much to me! I love your blog and will be following you!
Breanna
January 11, 2014 at 5:32 pm (11 years ago)What a good day to get married! November 29, 2008 was the same exact day I married my best friend as well! I love this post. It’s so easy to get caught up with life and kids, but it is also so important to build and maintain our relationships with our spouses.
Danielle Davis
January 11, 2014 at 6:48 pm (11 years ago)Hi Breanna! Seriously?! That is so crazy we got married on the exact same day!! What are the chances?! Thanks for your sweet comment!! I totally agree with you!
Vanessa Gonzalez
January 9, 2014 at 5:53 am (11 years ago)Loved this post, and you’re absolutely right about all the tips. I’m going to send this to my little sister who is planning to get married in a few months. Thanks!
Danielle Davis
January 9, 2014 at 9:54 pm (11 years ago)Hi Vanessa! Thank you so much for your kind comment and sharing it with your sister! How fun that she is getting married!! I hope this helps a little bit! 🙂
Marchelle Davis
December 26, 2013 at 5:33 pm (11 years ago)I loved the comment about not being on the worlds time but setting your own pace in life. What a wonderful insight