12 Strange Conversations Normal Parents Have

Becoming parents.

Everyone in the world gives warnings of how life will completely change once you hold that new baby in your arms.

You will love deeper, cry harder, become better and be involved in one the BEST things life has to offer…. being a parent.

One surprising aspect of the parental experience that no one can prepare you for is the evolution of your conversations with your spouse.

Let’s be real…you and your spouse probably talk about “normal” things right now. You know, like what you are having for dinner, where you are going on your hot date on Friday night and alllll about the crazy things your boss did at work yesterday.

Over the past few years, my husband and I have noticed that the topics of our conversations together have morphed into what may be considered by some as, pretty strange.

For months we thought we were alone in our daily chatting about bowel movement schedules and breast feeding awareness hashtags until we learned that all parents are weird.

Here are 12 strange parental conversation topics that I am sure you have had in your household and if you have, no worries, it’s totally “normal.”

1. THE CONFUSING CONVERSATION AS TO HOW AND WHEN SO MANY EXTRA LITTLE BODIES ENDED UP IN YOUR BED LAST NIGHT:  Whether you intended to practice co-sleeping or not…  at some as parents you wake up to a few extra bodies in bed. Somehow between the hours of 1am to 6am a child seems to magically appear in bed and both of you will be too tired to kick them out.

2. THE CONVERSATION THAT WOULD BE DISGUSTING TO PRE-PARENTS, BUT COMPLETELY NORMAL AFTER HAVING KIDS… POOP. AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.: Conversations range from textures and colors to frequencies and smells. Who’s turn is it to change the diaper this time and who’s turn is it to take them into the oh so despised public restroom. Going along with that, most moms will be able to give you the quickest route to a restroom in any given public area, because let’s be real…we have all been there!

3. A “LOVIN” SCHEDULE CONVERSATION…IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN: “Let’s try to get the kids down by 8:30pm so we can finally have some fun tonight!” – A text message you might have received more frequently than not these days?! 🙂 Before kids it was a given, you would “celebrate your marriage” (as we call it) whenever you want. But now as parents – it’s all about a schedule and making time for lovin’! Between potty needs and needing something to drink, bad dreams and stomach aches… penciling in time for your spouse can be tough, but a conversation worth having. 😉

4. THE PERPLEXING CONVERSATION AS TO WHY NOBODY LISTENS TO YOU AROUND THE HOUSE: When parents speak, do toddlers ever listen? Often times we say one thing – the toddler does the opposite. For example, when we say “Put on your shoes!” for some reason why do our toddlers hear, “Turn on the TV, take off your clothes and pour yourself some cereal on your head.” Many times we have concluded that we must be spontaneously speaking another language that highly encourages opposites (maybe monkey?).

5. THE “EYE CONTACT CONVERSATION” – WHEN NO WORDS NEED TO BE SPOKEN: You know, those moments when your child does something bad, but it’s absolutely HILARIOUS so you know you just have to bite your lip and put your head down?! This is a struggle. In fact, maybe one of the hardest things about being parents. You know if you make eye contact with your spouse, who is also struggling not to laugh, you both will end up cracking up because the situation is just TOO ridiculous.

6. THE REPETITIVE CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW TO GLUE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL TO THE DISPENSER: Because honestly?! Why are babies and toddlers DRAWN to the bathroom? Their need to unroll the entire toilet paper and drag it down the hall and into every bedroom is the real deal. I never thought this would be a problem I’d have to manage in life but between a husband leaving an empty roll and a toddler decorating the house with TP, this conversation happens all too often.

7. THE PUZZLING CONVERSATION AS TO WHY THERE ARE FAR MORE PILES OF LAUNDRY THAN PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE: Ladies, you hear me on this one? I am starting to believe that there are people living in this house that I haven’t met yet, based on the piles of laundry that have piled up. There are three of us – and I am confident we have a minimum of 9 loads of laundry that are staring me in the eye.

8. THE LEGIT DISCUSSION AS TO WHY I HAVE BIRTHED AN ENTIRE BABY IN LESS TIME IT TAKES MY HUSBAND TO POOP: But seriously…what do you men do in there??

9. THE CRAZY CONVERSATION TO ER OR NOT TO ER…THAT IS THE QUESTION: Accidents happen. And in the hustle and bustle of the mom life – many times you will call your man to discuss such things as how many marbles inside of a nose does it take to deserve a trip to the Emergency Room. One has been the winning number so far in our house.

10. THE SERIOUS CONVERSATION EXPLAINING THE MANY REASONS YOU DESERVE A TRIP TO TARGET ALONE: You see, Target (or any store really) to women is similar to a tropical vacation – relaxing, fun annnnnd can get a little pricey, but we won’t talk about that. And the funniest part about us ladies wanting a trip alone – is once we are there, all we will do is think about our families and buy clothes and toys for the kids.

11. THE IMPORTANT CONVERSATION ABOUT UPCOMING FRIDAY NIGHT GOALS: Date night? Girls Night? Boys Night? A night out on the town dancing the night away? A 10pm movie at the theater? No… a parents conversation about this Friday Night? SLEEP. We want to stay in and fall asleep on the couch eating pizza in our pajamas and SLEEP our Friday night away.

12. THE BEST CONVERSATION OF ALL: When you lay in bed and realize what an amazing experience being a parent is, and that you get to do it TOGETHER. When you realize there are way more ups than downs. When you realize what a blessing it is that you get to have these crazy moments and that you get to do it with a spouse by your side who gets it too. Who gets you.

When you talk about how WORHT IT, this whole parenthood thing is. It’s worth every stretch mark. It’s worth every wrinkle. It’s worth every gray hair. It’s worth every sleepless night. It’s worth every kick in the stomach and slap in the face at 2am from a little toddler arm and leg. It’s worth the poopy diapers and potty training craze.

And when you realize you wouldn’t trade your parenthood life for a THING.

….Even when it comes with the most bizarre, random and crazy conversations between you and your spouse.

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

August 16, 2016 by Danielle Davis | 2 Comments