15 Hopes I Have For The Woman Who Is Struggling

It is hard to believe that it was eight years ago…It sometimes feels like yesterday.

I was laying on a hospital bed in the Emergency Room. I had a feeling what was happening, but nothing had been confirmed. My husband held my hand and looked me in the eye and said, “Ps…everything is going to be okay.”

I knew EVENTUALLY everything was going to be okay. But at this exact moment – I didn’t feel  like everything was okay. My body was aching. I was hurting. No, I wasn’t just hurting – I was in a LOT of pain. I was cramping. I was having contractions. The 11 week old fetus that was inside of me, that had a heartbeat at one point… probably didn’t anymore. I was angry. I was frustrated. I was really REALLY sad. And I was heartbroken.

That was when the ultrasound tech came in and put the warm goo on my belly. She sweetly said, “We are going to take a look at your baby for a minute, just to make sure everything is okay.”

And then it happened… it was confirmed. We had lost our little baby. Our little miracle we were SO excited for. Our little babe that we had JUST bought books for. Our little lady or man that we had JUST announced to the world on Facebook, was taken away from us.

It really hurt – physically and emotionally. My husband and I had a quiet car ride home and as soon as we walked in, we both fell on the couch to hold each other and cry together.

At this point in our lives, we didn’t know what the future would hold. I had been told years previously that I probably wouldn’t be able to conceive – so THIS was our miracle baby. We spent the following four years waiting, hoping, wishing, praying and working hard to create a family. It was a difficult time for us and extremely draining.

But at the end of every day I could hear my husband in that hospital room saying, “Ps…everything is going to be okay.”

To the woman who wants to be a mom with all of her heart and it isn’t happening as easy as we all wish it would… this is for you.

To the woman who just took a pregnancy test and it was ANOTHER negative and you are feeling angry, sad, alone and absolutely distraught and don’t know where to turn…this is for you.

To the woman who had her miracle, but it was taken from you too soon… this is for you.

To the woman who is feeling alone as you rock your fussy baby back and forth in your quiet home and are mentally drained and physically exhausted and don’t really know how you are going to survive another day with a new baby… this is for you.

To the woman who is trying hard to raise your children in a scary world, all while worrying about finances, a husband, a home, a job, serving others and finding just a MINUTE a day for yourself…this is for you.

To the woman who is lost. To the woman who is confused. To the woman who is exhausted. To the woman who is worried. To the woman who feels alone. To the woman who is having a really hard day, month or even year. THIS is for you.

This is for the woman who is struggling and my 15 HOPES that I have for you today…

1. I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU AREN’T ALONE: You may feel like you are at times – because what you are going through is NOT easy and during dark times, we often feel isolated and that nobody understands. But know today, that there is someone else out there that has felt the way you feel or better yet, is FEELING the way you feel.

2. I HOPE YOU NEVER EVER GIVE UP: Not on yourself. Not on your family. Not on your prayer. Not on your miracle that you are waiting for.

3. I HOPE YOU FIND A SMILE TODAY: And not just today, but everyday. I hope you will read something online that makes you laugh. Or look through old pictures and remember a really fun memory. Or watch a hilarious movie. Or indulge in your absolute favorite treat. Or treat yourself to that something you have really been wanting. You deserve it.

4. I HOPE YOU WILL ASK FOR HELP: We are absolutely not supposed to go through this life and all of it’s problems that come with it, ALONE. We are placed in each other’s lives for a reason. Don’t be afraid to text a friend and tell them you need them. Call your mom and pour out your heart. Tell your husband what you really need. Knock on a neighbor’s door and simply ask for help.

5. I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU CAN CRY: And I am talking about a REAL good, UGLY cry. I am THE WORLD’S ugliest crier… you can’t beat me! Sometimes as women, we just need to let it out! Don’t let anyone tell you not to cry or that crying means you aren’t strong. Because crying actually means you have been really tough for a really long time.

6. I HOPE YOU REMEMBER THAT THINGS WILL GET BETTER: We each will have our different trials, but I can promise that things will get better. It sometimes take a lot of time. A lot of forgiveness. A lot of work. And a lot patience. But I know that things will always get better.

7. I HOPE YOU HAVE FAITH: Sometimes when things aren’t going our way, it is easy to lose faith in our prayers. In our hopes. And even ourselves. But I hope you always have faith.

8. I HOPE YOU WON’T BE ASHAMED: And that you won’t ever worry about what other’s think or keeping up with the Jones’s… because let me tell you…the Jones’s have a whole lot going on in their lives too. We all do. EVERYONE is fighting a hard battle, whether we see it or not. So don’t worry about other people. Don’t worry about what they say or how they make you feel. Don’t worry about what they might think or assume how they will react. Just do your best.

9. I HOPE YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES: They happen. I promise. I know the impossible can happen – in fact I KNOW that anything can happen.

10. I HOPE YOU WILL DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE: Something that really makes you happy! Something that brings you TONS of joy. I know that this can start to consume your life and be all you think about and dream about and talk about… get away and do something that truly brings you joy.

11. I HOPE YOU KEEP WORKING HARD: They say good things come to those who wait, but I am a big believer in working hard while we wait. Often times things won’t change, until we change. When we put in the hard work and effort, I know we are blessed for trying. If it weren’t for ALL of the doctor’s appointments, shots, procedures and surgeries – I wouldn’t have my two miracles today. At the end of the day, knowing we have done ALL that we can do is what matters the most.

12. I HOPE WHEN YOU FALL, YOU GET BACK UP: Things don’t always work out exactly how we want them to… which is really hard to say and admit. But I hope you remember that everything happens for a reason, even when it is really hard to see. And when those bad days come, I hope you will have the energy to get back up and try again.

13. I HOPE THIS TRIAL ENDS SOON: I truly hope this with all of my heart. I know that some trials last only a few hours…some a few weeks…months…years and some may even last a lifetime. But I hope this ends and you receive your miracle.

14. I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS: YOU can do REALLY really hard things! I mean look at you! Look at what you have already been through! Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Don’t you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don’t come until heaven…but they come.”

15. I HOPE YOU REMEMBER IT IS WORTH IT: It is worth it ALL. It is worth the wait. It is worth the tears. It is worth the bad days. It is worth the good days. It is worth everything you have had to go through and will go through. And although it will probably not be easy…it will absolutely be worth it.

ps – everything is going to be okay.

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

September 27, 2016 by Danielle Davis | 2 Comments