You’re a mom? You have probably done this before then.
You finally get to a milestone as a mom and are so proud, that you just have to share it with the world!
You post on social media how happy you are you accomplished your goal, even though you did things a little differently than experts recommend. The next day you log on again and you can’t believe what you see.
Friends, relatives, neighbors, your 5th grade teacher, all pile on their advice and ignite what is commonly referred to as a “mommy war.”
You read through the comments and your heart hurts from what others have said.
Sound familiar?
In this online war of words this is an all too common occurrence that leaves friendships and loved ones as casualties on the field of battle.
It makes me wonder, is it even worth it to fight over such a simple thing like breastfeeding?
The answer is simple: No. It’s not worth it. And here are 17 Reasons The Mommy Wars Aren’t Worth Fighting.
BECAUSE…
1. IT’S NOT ABOUT HOW MUCH WORK YOU DO: Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a work-at-home mom or a work-out-of-the-home mom… you are busy. No mom works harder than the other or is better than the other. It’s a fact. Your days are probably FULL of long lists of things to do. Working moms have goals to reach, people to call, emails to reply to, offices to get to and paychecks to earn. Stay-at-homes have kids to care for, dishes to clean, floors to mop, puzzles to play, toys to put away for the tenth time today, places to be and the never ending pile of laundry to put away. But no matter how many check-marks are checked off your to-do list every day…that just isn’t what it’s about.
2. IT’S NOT ABOUT HOW MUCH WORK YOU DIDN’T DO: After a long day, you will look at your to-do list and there will always be something you weren’t able to get to. Some will tell you that you need to work more and some will tell you that you work too much. You will hear of the “super” moms who make homemade play dough, have five playdates, cook three gourmet meals and look like they have it all together, while you are feeling accomplished that you kind of ate half of your lunch today. But no matter how many times you feel like you didn’t get enough done…that just isn’t what it’s about.
3. IT’S NOT ABOUT THE TYPE OF DIAPERS YOU BOUGHT: Some will say you don’t care about the environment because you use disposal diapers and some will say cloth diapers are gross and a waste of time. Huggies, Snuggies, Pampers and Luvs, you will decide which is best for your family. But no matter what brand, type or fabric you use… that just isn’t exactly what matters.
Photo by Ranker.com
4. IT’S NOT ABOUT THE BABY FOOD YOU HAVE IN YOUR CUPBOARDS: At playdates your friend will pull out sugar free, gluten free and all organic treats, while you have fruit snacks and chips because it was the fastest thing you could grab in your cupboards. Some will say you are too worried about health and others will say you don’t care about your child’s health at all. You may spend hours making homemade baby food or buying it in a jar at the grocery store… but those things don’t even matter. That’s not what it’s about.
5. IT’S NOT ABOUT BREASTFEEDING: You will hear that breast milk is the best choice, but sometimes breast milk isn’t even a choice. Some will say bottle feeding is bad, while others say bottle feeding is good. You may think you won’t bond with your baby if you don’t nurse or maybe you think you bond better with your baby when you don’t nurse. Whatever you do, it doesn’t even matter.
6. AND NO, IT’S NOT ABOUT HOW YOU SLEEP TRAIN: You will read books, articles and hear from friends what the best and only way to sleep train your baby is, but suddenly there are forty-five “only” ways to sleep train your kids and you will be so confused. Your friend will claim her baby is sleeping through the night at four weeks old, while yours is two-years-old and still wakes up in the middle of the night. But that isn’t what it’s all about.
7. IT’S ALSO NOT ABOUT HOW YOU CHOOSE TO POTTY TRAIN: Sticker charts, toys and candy galore – every child is different and will be ready when they are ready. The neighbor kid might be potty trained at 17 months and your just starting the process at age three. It doesn’t matter. That’s not what it is all about.
Photo by quickmeme.com
8. IT’S NOT ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HOVER: Or how much you don’t hover. A helicopter mom may annoy you with the way she is always always around. But you may annoy her how you let your child run free. She may feel you don’t watch yours enough. But it doesn’t matter – because that isn’t what motherhood is about.
9. AND IT’S NOT ABOUT HOW THEY GET HERE: Whether you had an all natural birth with no epidural in a bath or have a c-section scar to remind you every day what you have been through – it doesn’t matter. Every birth story is unique, different and beautiful. Some have natural births by choice, others because they had no other choice. Some have c-sections by choice, others because there was no other way to save their life or their baby’s life. Some can’t have children of their own at all and become mothers through adoption. But that still, isn’t even what it’s all about.
10. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEY ARE HERE: They are here! Your baby is here! Your children are healthy, alive and well. You are a mom and you hold the most precious, irreplaceable, sacred and eternal role you will ever hold. YOU are a MOM. And that is what matters.
11. WHAT MATTERS IS THE MOMENTS: It’s about that moment you feel your baby on your chest for the very first time and can no longer keep back the tears of joy…of fulfillment….of happiness. It’s about that moment you drive home from the hospital with your baby in the backseat and wonder, “what in the world am I doing?!” It’s about that moment you change seven stinky diapers in one hour that exploded up the baby’s back, down their legs and all over you. It’s about that moment your baby smiles at you for the very first time because you are his mom. It’s about the quiet moment in your house, when nobody else is around, but you and your baby, and you sing to him and talk to him, because you know he is listening. It’s about those every day, special moments only moms have.
12. BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT LOVE: The love of a mother is unlike any other love you will ever feel. It’s deeper. It’s stronger. It’s special. It’s terrifying. It’s exciting. It’s the love that you can’t describe because it’s so perfect. It’s almost too perfect. It’s the love that you would do anything and everything for that little human. It’s truly loving someone more than you love yourself. That’s what it is about.
13. IT’S ABOUT SACRIFICE: It’s about giving up your old life and starting fresh. When a baby is born, a mom is born too. A brand new mom. It is a time of changing and growing. Moms sacrifice their bodies, their money, their food, their clothes, their spending money, their girls nights, their favorite tv shows and their full nights sleep. But you do it. All moms do it. Because they are moms.
14. IT’S ABOUT THE MEMORIES: The memories that have been made and the memories that are going to be made. It’s in the memories of family vacations, park dates, learning how to crawl, walk, run, skip, jump and soar. It’s in the memories of hearing “i wuv you” and the best baby giggles in the world. That is what matters.
15. IT’S ABOUT TRYING, CRYING, FALLING, LEARNING, GROWING AND SMILING: Because being a mom isn’t easy. But you know that those little eyes and ears are watching you, so you want to be kind. And you want to be courageous. And you want to believe in yourself. Every mom tries their best and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. We learn from our mistakes and we keep on going. With smiles on our faces. Because that is what matters.
16. IT’S ABOUT FINDING JOY IN THE JOURNEY: Because finding the good in every day can sometimes be hard – but it’s possible. You may have to dig deep and some days your one good thing might be that you woke up today or that you read a simple book to a toddler. But as moms, that is what it is about. Finding joy. Creating happiness in our homes. And making today the very best day.
17. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU ARE A MOM: We all are. Every mommy in the mommy war is a mom. And you’re doing your best. And your neighbor, your friend, the stranger at the grocery store or the mommy at playgroup are all doing their best too. What may be best for them, may not be the best for you. But what matters is that we are all moms. And we are in this together. And that is what it’s all about.
Join the newsletter
Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
Google+
