It’s not an easy thing to admit but….
I sometimes feel like a fraud.
Just a few years ago I joined the dad-force when my wife and I welcomed our daughter into our little family. We had spent many years overcoming obstacles as we worked towards the moment of her birth.
During that time, I spent many nights wondering what fatherhood would be like.
Would I be able to keep another little human alive? Would she even like me?
Up until this point I had been an above average husband on paper. I took out the trash without being asked; I cooked dinner and helped out with chores around the house; I even consistently went the extra mile and recorded the movies I thought my wife would enjoy on our DVR.
Could I be a good husband AND a good dad?
All of these questions and feelings of inadequacy faded the moment I first held her.
I was hooked.
Over the next few days we became instant best buds and I quickly discovered a love like I had never known before. Things were great, until we took her home.
I wasn’t fully prepared for the sleepless hours and hundreds of diapers that followed. My eyes were opened to the real world of dad-hood. It’s no joke.
With no parenting manual I began to question my qualifications again. I loved my daughter. I wanted to teach her so much, but with all of my inadequacies I felt like I was an imposter and way over my head.
Sound familiar?
Dads everywhere at some point have had an experience similar to mine. As we celebrate Father’s Day….here’s a quick glance into the minds of dads everywhere.
They may appear to be big and tough on the outside but on the inside they are just like you. They want what is best for their kids and ask themselves these questions regularly as they wonder if they are doing a good job.
Photography by Christine Olson Photography
1. Am I keeping up with the milestones? They grow up so fast. One moment they sleep all day and the next you’re wanting to do nothing but sleep as you try to keep up with them. Knowing what is coming and preparing for the next milestone has helped me understand what my daughter is going through every day. The more that I can empathize with her, the more she will trust me as she grows older.
2. Should I be paying more attention? I once heard that a dad’s presence is much more valuable than his presents. Your little ones notice when you are not engaging with them. True, they need to be able to entertain themselves but time is the most valuable way dads can show their love to their children. Taking time away from the devices and distractions and just spending time together has become so much more important now that our toddlers can use our iPads better than we can.
3. Do I push more or pull back? When they are young this is easy, but I know it will be a challenge for me in the future. I myself know that her future includes being the goal winning kicker for the US Women’s soccer team, as well as the first ever female quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, buuuut I am assuming she has other plans. My job is to properly help her discover her passions even if they are tea parties and not touchdown celebrations.
4. Am I turning into my dad? We all have that moment when we get upset and that one phrase we swore we would never say when we got older finally crosses our lips “Because I told you so.” Our dads wanted what was best for us and sure….that means that we will bring to our parenting style some of what they taught us, but that’s not a bad thing. We can take what our fathers taught us and build on it. I hope that my kids will forgive me for my mistakes and take what they did like to their families one day.
5. Do I forget date night? 99.9% of a couple’s time is devoted to their kids. What about the 0.1% though? That very special 0.1% is the time set aside to be together as husband and wife. My kids will always know that my relationship with their mom is sacred to me and will always be a priority. Date night may not always happen, but it’s important that my kids know it is a top priority to me.
6. Have I made her smile today? Laughter is one of the greatest joys of parenting. So many dads get too caught up in the seriousness of life. Being strict is not a bad thing, but you should never let a day go by without hearing your children laugh. When I hear the belly laugh I know that I am sharing something special with my daughter. She knows she is loved and I know that I finally got at least one thing right that day.
7. Am I too focused on work? It’s not an easy thing to balance home and work life. Dads everywhere strive to make the best life they can for their families. Sometimes it seems like they are always gone working, but they want to provide the best for their children. Take advantage of family time opportunities and never get too busy making a living, that you forget to make a life.
8. Do my actions speak louder than my words? Kids are very keen to hypocrisy of parenting. I know when I was growing up, any time my parents told me to behave a certain way…I always made sure to point out when they did the opposite of what they expected from me. Our kids are sponges and they see everything that we do.
9. Have I told her today how much I love her? We share our love with our children in so many ways. Through the words that we use, the actions we show and the memories we create, we show them that we truly care about them. Becoming a dad may not be the easiest thing in the world, but it is one of the most important roles in the lives of our children. Take time every day to tell and to show how much you care. They may not always remember what you said, but they will always remember the way you made them feel.
Take some time this weekend and thank your dad for spending time thinking about you. He may not have done everything right, but he continually tries his best because you are everything to him.
Tyson is a contributing writer to Today’s the Best Day. He is a husband to his High School Sweetheart and father to the most beautiful girl on the planet. He loves, football, spending time with family and providing valuable content to help others have the best day every day.
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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
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