I’m crying.
You know that hideous ugly baby cry, where if I was talking to you in person and not typing, you would barely understand me because I would be talking so high and so quickly?! Yeah…you know what I am talking about… that kind of cry is definitely going on right now.
You can blame it on my raging, off-balanced hormones or you can blame it on the complete lack of sleep I am currently living off of. But whatever the reason for this ugly red-faced cry that is happening – one thing is for sure. It’s real.
In fact, it is the real deal and is REALLY happening. And it is the exact reason I write to you today.
I write to share a little insight into a mom’s post pregnancy world and give understanding to those who don’t quite understand how tough this transition can really be.
To husbands who have NO idea what to do to help your stressed out and overwhelmed wife. Those men who feel a little neglected and can’t help but wonder if your special lady is ever going to be the fun, energetic gal that you miss staying up with and cuddling with on the couch. The guys who want to help their dear wives that fall asleep at 7pm due to complete exhaustion and struggles to understand what exactly it is that they need and why she is acting the way she is. THIS is for you.
To friends out there… yes, you friends who don’t understand why the heck your friend who just had a baby isn’t responding to your text messages anymore. Why you see her “like” photos on Social Media and maybe even see her post photos daily of her little one all over Instagram but she still hasn’t returned your phone call from three days ago. To friends who want to help – but don’t know how. THIS is for you.
To clients wondering why it has taken over a month for an email response. To strangers who are questioning why the woman in line at the grocery store with the sleeping baby looks so frazzled in her sweats and messy bun. Annnnnd to other strangers who are wondering why the lady at Target alone at 11pm is skipping down every aisle like she just escaped from hibernation. THIS is for you.
And lastly…and maybe most importantly…to my fellow moms out there – to the woman who is putting her whole heart and soul into being a mother to a baby. Who uses all of her energy and strength on a daily basis to care for that little human in her arms. The moms who are doing their best, but feel like their best isn’t good enough.
I write this letter to YOU.
This list is a collection of things that the mom who just had a baby NEEDS you to know.
It’s a list that I write on behalf of all the other moms out there that have a baby on their hip and are trying their hardest to stay afloat when life can feel all too overwhelming.
1. THIS IS HARD. REALLY REALLY HARD
Let’s be real. Mom life is hard. Wife life is hard. LIFE in general…is so stinkin’ hard! So throw in a little babe to the mix and the challenge is real.
Don’t get me wrong – being a new mom with a new baby is amazing and life-changing and the most incredible experience life has to offer – but oh, it can be reeeeeal rough.
It’s a LOT of work caring for a little babe that can’t talk, screams his head off, poops like a machine and wants to eat 24/7. Constantly trying to figure out what the baby needs and how you can help them be comfortable can be a tricky task. THEN, throw in all of her other daily responsibilities, and life can seem pretty impossible.
She wonders how in the world other moms manage to stay on top of things, when she is struggling just to make sure that everyone in her house has clean underwear to wear and dishes to eat meals on.
The mom with the baby hopes you know that what she is doing is hard, but she is trying. She is trying her very VERY best. And THAT is all she can do.
2. SHE IS SORRY
From the bottom of her heart, she is sorry that she isn’t who she used to be. She is sorry that she hasn’t had the chance to sit down and give you a call. She is sorry she completely forgot about your text message she glanced at a few days ago and replied back to in her head. She is sorry she is so exhausted, that she falls asleep at 7pm at night.
The truth is, she wants to talk to you. She wants to go on a lunch date and she wants to stay up and watch your shows together. But as soon as she sits down after her busy day, her body doesn’t let her and she literally passes out.
She hopes you know that she can’t wait to feel like herself again and to have a routine down that allows her to visit with you. But right now, this baby needs her – and she is doing everything she can to make them as happy as possible.
3. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY NOT IGNORING YOU
No, no, no, no, no. She isn’t ignoring you – in fact, she thinks about you ALL. THE. TIME.
To be honest, she has been thinking a lot about you lately – but hasn’t had the chance to tell you.
It’s just that every time she goes to write you a text or give you a call – something happens. Like major crisis status. We’re talking poop explosions up the front and back. Hysterical scream fests that are beyond hard to control. A tired baby not wanting to sleep. And starving children you would think never eat, but just had a good 30 minute feeding an hour ago.
She hopes you know that it isn’t you – and she promises to get back to you soon. In fact, she encourages you to be annoying and call and text again and again and again. Because even if she doesn’t respond – your messages make her so SO happy. Will you do that for her? In fact, she needs to hear from you. It is what keeps her going.
4. SHE CAN’T
She wants you to know that she really REALLY wants to do it all. She feels like she needs to do it all. She even tries to do it all. But in realty, she can’t do it all. And that is killing her.
Because as moms, we really do think we need to do it all.
We want to be the wife and mom who has dinner on the table at 5pm, with no dishes in the sink, laundry folded and put away, floors mopped, carpet vacuumed, kids happy with little tv and to help provide for the family financially by working and making a little income on the side.
But she hopes you know that even though she can’t do it all – she CAN do her best. And that is exactly what she is doing. And some days her biggest accomplishment is that she and the baby are still alive – and by golly, that is something to proud of.
5. SHE LITERALLY FORGETS EVERYTHING
For some reason after having a baby, your mind goes too. If she doesn’t write it down – you better believe it is totally not happening!
She apologizes for all the things she has forgotten, flaked out on and cancelled. She now truly believes in the “mommy brain” thing and is a believer in the fact her baby has taken away everything she has ever known.
She hopes you know that she doesn’t mean to forget and welcomes reminders on upcoming events and play dates with open arms!
6. LET HER CRY
Because for some strange reason in her head it just makes sense.
A good cry is good for the soul – especially the mom who just had a baby soul. At times she may get so overwhelmed and DONE with “adult-ing” for the day, that she breaks down. And what does she need from you?
Well, she just needs someone to love her. Seriously. She needs ears that will listen. A shoulder to catch her tears. Arms to embrace her. And someone to say, “You’re doing a good job!”
Honestly, she just hopes you will let her cry it out without thinking she is cray cray for it.
7. HER HEART IS ABOUT TO BURST
Despite how crazy and insane and stressful her life may seem right now – the mom with the baby has more love in her heart than you can even imagine.
Her heart is full to it’s capacity, but somehow continues to grow every single day. Because right when she thinks she can’t love any more… she manages to do so.
Her love grows for her baby. It grows for her family. And it grows for YOU.
The mom who just had a baby wants you to know that being a mom is the GREATEST blessing. The most IMPORTANT calling. Her FAVORITE title. The BEST job. And the most REWARDING task that she will ever be a part of.
And no matter what, she wouldn’t trade her crazy life for a thing.
8. YOU MEAN WAY MORE TO HER THAN YOU THINK RIGHT NOW
You really, really do. In fact, you mean the world to her.
Although she may not have taken the time to say it – she wants to say thank you.
Thank you for loving her, despite her faults.
Thank you for thinking of her, even when she seems a little spacey.
Thank you for contacting her, even when she doesn’t respond.
Thank you for having patience with her, even when she doesn’t have any.
Thank you for helping her, even when she acts like she doesn’t need it. {because she does!}
So from the mom who just had a baby – please know that you are irreplaceable – and she couldn’t do this whole “mom with a baby” thing…without YOU.
Loved the article? Don’t forget to share! Then check out 10 Habits of a Successful Mom and 20 Things To Remember When Your Wife Is Overwhelmed.
Join the newsletter
Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
Google+