Gwen is a 
wife, mother of two, and friend to many amazing people in the Las Vegas area. She works as a middle grades teacher, and is passionate about the field of education. In her free time, she enjoys sipping a fountain fresh Diet Coke, practicing hand-lettering, and writing about her ongoing education (by “ongoing education” she is referring to “adulting”).
Boundaries. Ugh, right? When I used to think of setting boundaries, I thought of having awkward conversations with family, friends, and co-workers, and I would cringe. That perception was abruptly changed during a recent trip to California, when I got a chance to spend some time with a dear friend who, unbeknownst to her, pointed out that I had already been setting them. As we were chatting about some recent changes I had made in an effort to improve my mental health and just life in general, she said, “I think you have been doing a lot of great boundary work.” That vacation was months ago, and I’ve thought about that comment ever since.
Without even realizing it, I had spent several months setting some life-changing boundaries – no awkward conversations necessary! By unwittingly working on these 3 boundaries, I have come to realize that setting them is far more powerful and meaningful than just coming up with an arbitrary set of rules. It takes time and effort to figure out which boundaries need to be set, but when it comes to living a more joyful, fulfilling, and peaceful life, truly working towards my best life, I am willing to put in the work – are you? Let’s get started!
Photo from Pixabay
Boundaries with Belongings:
I started with this one, because I feel like it was the easiest and most tangible. Before all the hype about “Kon Mari” on Netflix, I actually read part of her book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and I used some of her methods to organize my home. I started with going through my clothing, getting rid of items that no longer fit properly or were worn out. Piece by piece, I constructed a new, minimized wardrobe, consisting of only the items of clothing that I loved wearing. I had no idea how much emotional weight that I was carrying just from keeping ill-fitting jeans and worn out shoes sitting around in my closet. It cost me ZERO dollars and about 5 hours of my time to complete this project, but the joy, gratitude, and renewed belief in myself it brought was priceless.
If clothes seem daunting, you can start with any space or group of items in your home – maybe take a look in your pantry, or your fridge. Get rid of belongings that aren’t serving you (That expired pickle jar with 2 baby dills floating around can be the first thing you toss!), replace them with space for things that do serve you (maybe swap those pickles with a jar of your grandma’s homemade apricot jam), and take note of how you feel as you complete this process over and over again throughout your home.
I know it sounds absurd, but I promise that you will be amazed at how much genuine happiness and peace can come from setting boundaries with the “things” that surround you in your living space. When you surround yourself with belongings that you love, you’ll start to develop a deeper sense of gratitude in all areas of your life. Give it a try – at the very least, you’ll no longer have to worry about that expired sour cream turning into a science project in the back of your fridge.
Body-Image Boundaries:
Speaking of food, let’s talk a little bit about setting boundaries to protect your beautiful body (before you roll your eyes and reject that compliment, just hear me out, I’ve been there, and I get it). Prior to minimizing my wardrobe, I was a bit of a “collector” of shoes. For the record, there is nothing wrong with having a variety of shoes, because, who doesn’t love to sport an adorable new pair of kicks to the gym, or dawn a fab new pair of boots to welcome autumn weather?
Just yesterday, in fact, I was shoe shopping and thinking about ideas for this article. I was trying on a pair of adorable size 7.5s when I had a major epiphany. Before I started to set boundaries about whose opinion I allowed to influence my beliefs about my body, I used to equate anything on my body that was “small” with what made it worthy of love and acceptance. I had always loved shoes, because I had always had a “small” shoe size. After having 2 children, my feet are no longer a size 5, and my body has changed shape in ways I never imagined it could, and, after setting some body boundaries, that is no longer something that I will allow to affect my feelings toward my body.
Friends, let me set the record straight: the sizes, shapes, or abilities of your body parts have ZERO correlation with your body’s inherent worth, or your inherent worth. That may seem obvious to some, but I know that, for me, I had to do a lot of pondering, praying, and unraveling of a deeply held negative body-image before I was able to believe that for myself. If you are living, breathing, and able to read this article, you have a body that works, and that is a privilege which: Number One – not everybody has at this moment, and Number Two – none of us are guaranteed to have tomorrow.
If you aren’t sure where to start with body boundaries, gratitude is a great place. Find little things about your body that you are grateful for – does your body breathe on its own? Were you able to use your fingers to write a comforting note to a friend? Can you taste and feel the fizzy coolness of a fresh fountain soda (I can almost taste a fresh Diet Coke just by imagining it!) on your tongue? Those tiny experiential gifts from our bodies that we take for granted each day are the very essence of what makes our bodies incredible, and if we don’t set boundaries about the way we treat and think about our bodies, the world will swoop in and that simple, yet, profound truth will be swept away.
Time Boundaries:
Last, but possibly most important of all for today, let’s talk about setting boundaries with your time. It’s true that we have a finite amount of time here on Earth, and some of you reading this have more pressures on your time than others, but you still have SOME choice about how you spend your time.
Simply put: wherever and with whomever you are choosing to spend your time can either greatly add to your ability to live your best life, or greatly detract from it; either way, the choice is still yours. I think the greatest thought that has influenced the way I spend my time is this quote by President Thomas S. Monson, “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.”
As a teacher, I have a large number of students and families to spend time loving. As a friend, I have a beautiful group of women to spend time loving. As a mother, I have two children to spend time loving. As a wife, I have a husband to spend time loving… but perhaps, most importantly, as a woman, and a Daughter of my Heavenly Father, I have to spend time loving myself. I try hard not to allow problems to be solved usurp the precious little time that I have been gifted to spend loving myself and others. Though I am far from perfect in this endeavor, it has helped me to make imperative choices about how and with whom I spend my time.
If you want to make a significant change in your happiness today, take some time to consider how and with whom you are spending your time. Choose to be present in each place and with each person you encounter, and take ownership of your schedule. You have far more control over your time each day than you might think. If you are willing to set boundaries on how you spend that time, then, moment by moment, day by day, you just might find that you are already living your best life.
Are you ready to start setting some boundaries and living your best life yet? Don’t hesitate, because, truly, TODAY is the BEST DAY.
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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
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