Dear Mom, For When You Can’t Enjoy These Years

“Enjoy these years!”

This is the advice nearly every new mother is given again and again and again. At times, as a brand-new mom with a precious newborn, when hearing these words from random strangers, I would smile and nod. Many times I would even say something like, “Oh, I am! Life is so wonderful!” And I absolutely meant it. I vowed I would cherish these years and not let a single moment go to waste. 

But then … life happened.

Sometimes, when you’re potty training a toddler and nursing an infant (all at the exact same time in the exact same bathroom), you wonder how you’re supposed to enjoy these years.

When you’ve already had a bad day and your kid smears yogurt all over himself and then poops in the tub, you wonder how you’re supposed to enjoy these years.

At times, when your health is suffering or your marriage is strained or your parents are ill or your job is miserable or your car is too small or your rent is too big and your finances are so tight they’re about to snap … you wonder how you’re supposed to enjoy these years.

I have a secret for you, Mom.

You can’t.

Well, maybe you can. (And if you can, I want to come live at your house. I’ll take a nap while you make me cookies.)

But for me, the secret is to stop worrying about enjoying years…

And to start savoring moments.

Because years are long, and years can be hard, and years can sometimes knock the breath right out of you. Years are stuffed full of the good and the bad. Years are too much for my to wrap my head around.

But moments.

Moments are what we live for.

Savor the moments when your newborn has drifted off to sleep and is lying peacefully, trustingly, securely in your arms.

Savor the moments when your preschooler goes on stage for the school holiday program, looks around the crowd nervously … and then sees you. And stops. And smiles. And you know that she knows that the world is okay as long as you are there.

The first bike ride. The last day of kindergarten. The first ballet class. The championship baseball game. The first tooth fairy visit. The cuddles, the kisses, the smiles, the laughing, the knock-knock jokes, the dancing in the kitchen, the playing in the sprinklers.

Keep your eyes open for those moments.

Tonight, I went in to check on my sleeping kids and found myself staring at my son. His four-year-old body is losing its baby chub, his face is looking less like a toddler and more like a big boy every day. And rather than moving on to the tasks that were waiting for me, I made a choice to linger, to enjoy that precious moment.

As I settled down next to him, he stirred a bit, then drifted back off to sleep. Right before he did, he reverted to the habit of his babyhood and stuck his thumb in his mouth. For just fleeting moment, as he sucked his thumb, I saw my newborn son sleeping in his crib. Almost instantly the image passed and my four-year-old was back. And in a staggering, breathtaking moment, I saw the five-year-old he’ll soon be. I imagined the 10-year-old, the 18-year-old, the 30-year old. I saw him, and my heart swelled and broke all at the same time. Those years. They’re coming. They’re … going.

They’re already slipping through my fingers, those years.

But for today, I’m not worrying about years.

I’m looking for moments.

This spring, my family went to Disneyland. My husband and I, our children, my parents, my grandparents, some of my siblings – even some cousins arrived to make it a perfect week. On our last day, I found myself looking around. It hit me that our vacation was ending and that I had no idea when I’d be back. So I made the choice to take a deep breath, look around, and enjoy each moment. On one of my favorite rides, I thought, “I wish I could slow down this ride. I waited so long for it. I feel like it barely began. I just … I wish I could slow down this ride.”

And as I checked on my sleeping children in their beds tonight, I had the same thought. “I wish I could slow down this ride. I waited so long for it. I feel like it barely began. I just … I wish I could slow down this ride.”

But I can’t.

So instead, I tucked in my sleeping little ones. I stared. I smiled. I savored.

And I cherished the moment.

Mom, don’t stress about enjoying these years.

Today, just stop …

And savor a moment.

Kimber Daley is a wife, a mom, a writer, and a sun-loving California girl who is learning to cherish a new life in beautiful Colorado. She loves sipping on Jamba Juice, devouring Chick-fil-A breakfast biscuits, and carefully bargain shopping year-round for her Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes. She has lots of fun sharing simple, meaningful ways to make a difference in the world at her website, Let’s Do Some Good Today.

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

October 5, 2016 by Danielle Davis | 4 Comments