I was watching my three-year-old rock her little doll back and forth in her arms. She was touching its eyes and then pointing to hers, she touched its nose and then touched hers, she tickled its ears and then tickled her ears – and then she looked up and smiled at me. I am totally one of those creeper moms that loves to just sit and stare at my kid. I love watching what she does without me and to see how her little brain works.
She continued on and kissed her baby, patted her on the back {and said shhhh}, laid her on the ground, put a blanket over the baby and walked away. As she took a few steps toward me, she turned back around to check on her little doll that was cuddled up with her blanket and blew her a kiss.
I picked my big girl up and gave her a hug, then squeezed her as tight as I could for as long as she would let me. My little baby was growing up right in front of my eyes! She was such a good mom to her little baby.
As women, we see a lot of different kinds of moms – in fact, there is a list of 15 moms that you probably know here. But is one mom better than the other? What makes a mom, “good?” In order to be a “good” mom do you have to have four perfect children, or can you just have one that teaches you new things every day?
Naturally, we all want to be the best for our children. So here are The Do’s and Don’ts of Being a Good Mom:
A GOOD MOM DOESN’T…
1. A good mom doesn’t have to spend a lot of money.
2. A good mom doesn’t shower and get ready every single day.
3. A good mom doesn’t have to make a home-cooked meal tonight.
4. A good mom doesn’t always have a clean house.
5. A good mom doesn’t over-schedule her own calendar or her children’s.
6. A good mom doesn’t over-instruct. Sometimes free play is all a child needs to use their imagination.
7. A good mom doesn’t nit-pick or worry about the little things that do not matter.
8. A good mom doesn’t judge other moms.
9. A good mom doesn’t push herself or her children too hard.
10. A good mom doesn’t let others bring her down.
A GOOD MOM DOES….
1. A good mom does give lots of hugs and kisses.
2. A good mom does provide the basics: clothes, food and a house. Doesn’t have to be fancy.
3. A good mom does guide and disciplines.
4. A good mom does have confidence in her parenting style.
5. A good mom does live in her pajamas some days.
6. A good mom does bring in take-out because she just doesn’t feel like cooking.
7. A good mom does take time for herself. {even if it is just 10 minutes before bed}
8. A good mom does listen, supports and uplifts – her children, her spouse and her friends.
9. A good mom does enjoy TODAY.
10. A good mom does make sure her children KNOW they are loved.
To the mom who seems to be happy ALL the time: I know you have your struggles inside. Thank you for trying to spread happiness to others! YOU are a good mom.
To the mom who seems to be stressed and having a hard time with life: I know how it feels to go through awful trials. YOU are a good mom.
To the mom who seems to be perfect and have perfect hair, children and even a perfect spouse: I know you work hard for your family. YOU are a good mom.
To the mom who has piles of laundry, dirty dishes and sticky floors: We have all been there. Enjoy it now. YOU are a good mom.
To the mom who is taking care of your family all by yourself: You are an inspiration and you can do hard things! YOU are a good mom.
To the mom who feels like you are just not doing enough: You ARE doing enough. YOU are a good mom.
Being a good mom doesn’t look a certain way. Good moms can breastfeed or formula feed. They can co-sleep or use cribs. They can have hospital births, home births, natural births, c-section births or even have an epidural. Good moms can adopt, have one child or 10 children. They can appear to be happy or appear to be stressed. Good moms can be dressed to the nines or live in her yoga pants and tee.
As my three-year-old got up from my lap and went to go check on her doll that was tucked in and “sleeping” so soundly – she gave me a kiss, picked up her doll and chucked it across the room. Hopefully, I can be a good example to her of what a really “good” mom actually is.
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one”
Don’t forget to share this with all of your mom friends that may need to hear they are doing a good job!
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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
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Lucy
February 13, 2016 at 10:36 pm (9 years ago)Hey Danielle
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and I just love it so much. I just know that whatever post I read its going to be full of positivity and love and it’s so inspiring. This one seriously made me cry, I’d just read someone else’s blog post about ‘8 sleep mistakes you’re making’ and it just sounded so judgemental and rigid when actually all babies are different and it’s OK to co sleep and rock your baby to sleep. Just felt like I was failing in the eyes of that blog post and then to come and read yours was such a blessing and encouragement, so thank you for that.
Love from Lucy xx
Brandi
December 16, 2015 at 2:52 pm (9 years ago)I loved your article, it definitely uplifted my spirits and reminded me that I am enough and that I do enough. I think I struggle sometimes but I also think I am a good mother too. This almost brought years ro my eyes.
I don’t mean to be negative but I was mildly offended when i read “a good mom doesn’t shower and get ready every day”. In all the articles I have read they say to not put yourself on the back burner. We need to keep ourselves happy also. I trudt my parenting style. I read and try to learn more everyday. But I also shower everyday. When my newborn is sleeping I take that time for myself to shower and put on a little makeup and fix my hair a bit so that I feel good. Ready to take on whatever. I take that time for myself before I go pick up my eldest daughter because if i don’t get a shower I struggle with my day.
Thank you for your inspiring words and reminders. All mommys need this from time to time! Our responsibilities are not always recognized and appreciated but it’s always good to have positive reminders from other moms 🙂
Jeni
November 28, 2015 at 6:53 am (9 years ago)Thank you so much!!! This brought tears to my eyes and completely made my day. I have too little ones and some times feel like am drowning with them only being 11 months apart. I felt like i was failing as a parent and a teacher to my children when my eldest has not been able to put sentences or simple words together. This article has lifted my spirit’s and i will keep trying to bee a good mom to them and show them they are loved. Again thank you for this article i will share it with all the goid moms i know. 💕
Cassey f.
November 7, 2015 at 6:25 am (9 years ago)Love it… Thank you.
We also have to remember to be a kiddo some times, or alot of times..lol!!!
A big one also is mistakes, messes, things that get broke.. that’s what they are!!! That’s all they are, not the end of the world!! Frustrating sometimes but so any spills, and broken things you thought were important, and ohhhhh. Just let it slide.. they usually feel bad enough on thier own…
Beatrice
September 18, 2015 at 7:34 am (9 years ago)I had goose bumps reading your words… Thank you …. We all struggle and in the end never really stop to see what we do … And so life just hurries on by and we forget to say thanks for everything. Loved you article and although i have lots of things to do i m taking the time to say again thanks for such beautiful words and encouragement.
Elizabeth
March 14, 2015 at 7:28 pm (10 years ago)We are all good moms in our own unique and different ways. I know that we all also need the reminders Motherhood is a crazy, beautiful, overwhelming, joyful event, and we know because..You’re a mom! Thanks, Danielle. Happy to meet you today!
Laura
December 26, 2014 at 5:28 am (10 years ago)THANK YOU for this 🙂
Aimey
November 12, 2014 at 5:55 am (10 years ago)Thks made me cry. I think I needed this very badly. As moms, especially new moms we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect. In reality, there is always laundry, sometimes eggs for dinner and the house is messy 5 minutes after you try to clean it. But I wouldn’t change it for anything
Chenoah
November 5, 2014 at 8:55 pm (10 years ago)Thanks for putting into print what I think we all need to hear and be reminded of frequently. As a mom of two young adults and a senior in high school, I STILL need to hear it’s ok to bring home take out and stay in my pjs all day from time to time. 🙂 I AM a good mom…why is that so hard to say?! I am sharing a link to this post on my blog today. Hope it encourages lots and lots of mamas. Thanks for sharing.
Rebecca Anderson
September 16, 2014 at 11:31 am (10 years ago)A good mom learns to be grateful for what she has and shares her thankfulness with her children so they’ll be grateful people too.
Helen
September 10, 2014 at 2:44 pm (10 years ago)I really needed to read this! Sometimes I struggle massively with trying to be the best mummy I can be. Thank you x
Lynette Mills
September 10, 2014 at 2:03 pm (10 years ago)A Good Mom – one who takes time to sit and watch the clouds, the ants that crawl, the butterfly that flits from flower to flower, the puddles that make a splash when jumped in, lots and lots of different things that you can show your child/children about life, time to listen to your child, time to play with your child (even if only for a few minutes, time to hug your child, time to be strict, time to be soft, time to tough, time to be gentle, and then one day time to let them go. Children are delightful, curious, engaging, infuriating, challenging, loveable, and much more – but as a Mother if you can take time to just BE with them in any way – then when they leave home, they will take that with them and you will then have the time to replay those memories.
Laurie Skelton
September 9, 2014 at 4:11 am (10 years ago)Jumping in puddles. Getting messy. Being wild and random cause that’s who my girl is. Celebrating every beautiful thing, and stomping on the things that scare you. Simply put. Stopping to take the world in.
Tara
September 8, 2014 at 2:49 pm (10 years ago)Thank you for this, one of the first things I read as I was enjoying my first cup of coffee this morning, and simply what I needed to read. I have been a bit stressed and was feeling a little low thinking I was too nit picky on the kids lately. I really feel I made up for it while we were at the park yesterday and I ended up chasing them (and scaring them cause they didn’t know mom could run that fast!) barefoot, all over the park. But thank you. Worth reading (more than once) and very much worth sharing.
Danielle Davis
September 8, 2014 at 7:07 pm (10 years ago)Tara that is so sweet of you! I am so happy to hear that you found this post helpful. I also laughed out loud about your kids underestimating your speed lol. Thanks for your comment and for being a great mom.
jackie speed
September 4, 2014 at 12:38 pm (10 years ago)thank you for this. i seriously saw this title and was kind of offended.. how can you tell people who is a good mom and who is not. I almost didn’t even read it. I am glad I did. This is so uplifting and just sweet. I seriously feel like I have been wanting to say something just like this! I have changed how I view other moms entirely since becoming a mom myself. YOU ARE A GOOD MOM. Thank you thank you thank you for writing this!
Danielle Davis
September 8, 2014 at 7:09 pm (10 years ago)Hi Jackie! You are so wonderful and I am so happy you spent time reading this post. I encourage you to share its message with others. It is so important for all moms to know that they are good moms and for all of us moms to help each other instead of fighting the mom wars against each other. Thanks again for your comment today!
rebeccancompany
September 4, 2014 at 12:28 pm (10 years ago)Loved this and … umm, I went without a shower yesterday.
Danielle Davis
September 8, 2014 at 7:12 pm (10 years ago)Haha, I love it Rebecca! I can’t even tell you how many times I look up at the clock and realize that I didn’t shower. Thanks for your comment!
Terri
September 4, 2014 at 3:29 am (10 years ago)this was wrote for me, I love this!! I have struggled with being a good mom or the mom who has to buy the love;)
Danielle Davis
September 8, 2014 at 7:13 pm (10 years ago)Hi Terri! I am so glad there are other moms out there like me reading this post. Thanks for being a great mom and for commenting today!
Adanna
September 4, 2014 at 2:16 am (10 years ago)I absolutely love this post! Tweeting it
Danielle Davis
September 8, 2014 at 7:14 pm (10 years ago)Adanna that is so nice of you! Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter too!
Jennifer
September 4, 2014 at 2:07 am (10 years ago)So, so true! I think we all want to be good moms, but our version of “good” might look different on a daily basis. You can’t compare yourself to others and some days pajamas are required. 🙂
Danielle Davis
September 8, 2014 at 7:24 pm (10 years ago)Jennifer you are so right on. I think it’s so unfortunate that moms everywhere get stuck in what some would call the “mommy wars” and compare themselves to others. It’s so important for all moms to know that what you said is right. Somedays we all just need a pajama day. Thanks for your wonderful comment today!
Scott
September 4, 2014 at 1:35 am (10 years ago)There are so many ways people can be a good parent, but the most important is to not put themselves first, but put the kids first.
Danielle Davis
September 8, 2014 at 7:31 pm (10 years ago)Scott, that’s a great point. Thank you for your comment today.
Maggie C
September 4, 2014 at 12:57 am (10 years ago)That picture is so me – I always feel that if they are dressed, fed and not bleeding, we did good that day. Some great inspiration here!
Danielle Davis
September 8, 2014 at 7:39 pm (10 years ago)Haha that’s so funny Maggie. Thanks for your kind words and for commenting today.
Nicole
September 3, 2014 at 11:22 pm (10 years ago)Thanks, we need more positive encouragement. I hope I’m not the only one that struggles with wondering whether or not I’m doing a good job.
Again, Thanks.
Danielle Davis
September 8, 2014 at 7:41 pm (10 years ago)Nicole, I am definitely on board with you and hoping every day that I am doing a sufficient job as a mom. I know your kids are so lucky to have you and that you are a great mom. Thanks for commenting today.