A Heartwarming Lesson For Moms That Struggle

Nowhere else does the phrase “not as easy as it looks” apply more than motherhood.

If I had a dollar for every time someone told my pre-motherhood self: “You’re going to be such a great mom!” I would have had…well…a lot of dollars. Probably enough dollars to buy out Costco’s entire ice cream section to drown my emotions in during my first few months of motherhood.

I was shocked, and devastated to find that my response to becoming a mom was not AT ALL what I had pictured.

I struggled with seemingly EVERYTHING. Nothing felt natural. But how could this be? Everyone had told me I was going to be awesome at this, so how could everyone be wrong?

When I started opening up about my experience, I learned one thing that completely changed my perspective. I want to share it with you today in the hope that it gives you comfort and peace, as it did for me.

A Heartwarming Lesson For Moms That Struggle

Photo by Brittany Busk Photography 

I’ll start with a simple concept most of us are familiar with: stages.

Spoiler alert: Your children will go through MANY stages and you will have to adapt to them just as much as they will.

If you are lucky enough to “figure out” a stage it will probably happen just in time for that stage to end and the next one to begin. Conversely, if you find that you just CANNOT get a grip on this stage, don’t let it get you down! Take a deep breath. This trial is TEMPORARY, this stage WILL pass, and I GUARANTEE many of your fellow mom friends have had similar struggles.

The truth (and what really hit home for me) is this:

You don’t have to be good at every stage, or even LIKE every stage, to be a good mom. A good mom loves her kids and tries her best. THE END. 

I translated my struggle with the newborn stage to mean that I wasn’t cut out for motherhood.

This is so far off the mark.

We ALL have skills and talents that will naturally make some stages easier than others. Some stages you will shine, and some you will just survive. And there is NOTHING wrong with that.

We can even take this one step further: Look around you.

If you are just surviving, or if you feel you’re not even doing that very well, find someone who is shining in this stage.  Never be too proud/shy/whatever to ask someone for help when you are struggling.

If you are the “shining” one, look around. Is there someone whose light is out? Who is drowning in this stage? Kindly, and tactfully, offer to share some of what you’ve learned or what has worked for you. More than likely they will return the favor at a stage down the road.

Knowing that I don’t have to excel at every stage may seem like common sense, but it felt like the equivalent of a blindfold falling from my eyes. I could feel the pressure lifting from my shoulders.

No longer did I feel guilty for my less-than-graceful adjustment to motherhood. I felt at peace knowing that while I may not be a newborn-mothering rock star, I would have my chance to shine.

And it is so true, my fellow moms.

My little man is 8 months old and I am finally finding my groove. At least until the next stage arrives, and when it does I’m going to follow my very wiggly son’s advice and “just keep rolling.”

So dear mom, if you are struggling in this stage of motherhood – that is OKAY. Keep going. This stage won’t last forever. And your time to shine is right around the corner.

Corinne is a west coast girl currently on an east coast adventure while her hubby goes to law school.  A newly minted mother of one, she is learning to appreciate the challenges and blessings that come with this important role.  She is thrilled to be sharing her love of strengthening women and families with you.

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

April 10, 2017 by Danielle Davis | 5 Comments