Keep The Honeymoon Love Alive

Before we got married, my husband and I were apart for two years as he lived in Cambodia, serving for our church. I remember the day he came home like yesterday. I made Welcome Home signs, tied yellow ribbons around my tree and waited VERY impatiently all day for his plane to land. I was waiting like a little puppy dog by the window for his car to pull up and the second I saw his lights coming down the street, I ran outside and jumped into his arms! I remember the feeling I got at that moment as we embraced each other. We hugged and hugged… and hugged some more. My very best friend was home! He was mine! I missed him so much and was so excited to be with him again.

I never let go of him after that moment. In fact, he proposed one week later and we got married six weeks after that! It was super fast and stressful for my mom {I was oblivious to the world. So in love and had no cares at all.}. Our wedding day soon approached and I can honestly say that was the best day of my life. My best friend and I were finally a family! I promised to love him and he promised to love me…for eternity.

It was soon Honeymoon time and we got on a plane to Hawaii! Spending every minute together was a dream come true! We were constantly holding hands and kissing. We were constantly laughing and playing. Nothing could ever break our love, he could do no wrong and we were living the perfect fairy tale life that I always imagined we would have.

As most vacations do, our honeymoon came to an end and it was time to go back to our humble home. It didn’t take long for trials to come our way, for tears to be shed and for bumps to knock us off our feet. We have now been married for over five years and can confess those hard days have come more than just once or twice. Sometimes we look back and say, “Why can’t we just be back on our Honeymoon? Everything was PERFECT!”

We have learned that even if our lives aren’t flawless and our journey of life turns us in a different direction that we had planned, something that we CAN keep constant is our love…. our Honeymoon Love. We may not be able to be on an island, laying on the beach with our pina coladas, but we can still have those feelings for each other. We can still keep our Honeymoon Love Alive!

Today I share with you 10 things for you to remember EVERY DAY of your marriage, to keep the Honeymoon Love Alive.

1. YOU ARE A TEAM: The moment you say “I DO” – you are promising to be a team! Not a, “You do 50% and I will put in my 50%” kind of team – it is a 100% from him and a 100% from you, kind of team. Team mates work together. They support each other. They compliment each other. They help each other feel good about themselves. In a team, one is not over the other – they are equal.

2. HIS FAMILY IS NOW YOUR FAMILY: When you get married, two families unite. Make a list of your favorite things about your family and your favorite things about his family – and make your own family! Make sure you spend time with his family and try to form relationships with his parents and siblings. You are one of “them” now – so find your role and play your part.

3. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES: You know how I said up above while we were on our Honeymoon that he could do no wrong? Well… EVERYONE makes mistakes. You will make mistakes. Your husband will make mistakes. We are human and we aren’t perfect. Know though, that even if he makes a mistake – it isn’t the end of the world. Just like every other guy on the planet, he isn’t perfect… and that is okay! In fact, maybe it was his imperfections that made you fall in love with him in the first place. “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person, perfectly.”

4. FORGIVENESS IS KEY: So… about those mistakes and imperfections – how we do we get over them? Forgiveness. Sometimes it is easier said than done, but forgiveness is vital in a marriage. In order to continue progressing together and falling more in love – you must communicate and forgive. Let him know that something is bothering you, talk about it and find a solution. We have learned it is better to just get it off our chests when it happens, rather than keep it in and hold a grudge.

5. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES: If the cap is always off the toothpaste… should you say something? If the toilet paper roll is never replaced… should you say something? If the dishes aren’t done EXACTLY how you would like them to be done… should you say something? I don’t think there is anything wrong with acknowledging it, but be careful how you word it. I actually learned this the hard way. I love doing the dishes and I like them to be done a specific way… but one day Tyson came up ahead of me and did them. Instead of thanking him, I got upset because they weren’t done how I would like them to be done. Dumbest mistake EVER!! That was so nice of him to help – and what a SILLY thing for me to get upset about. Before you bite his head off, think about if it is REALLY worth it.

6. LAUGHING IS CONTAGIOUS: It is so important in marriage to have FUN! You HAVE to laugh. You HAVE to. It isn’t even a question. I say…. a couple that laughs together, stays together! Don’t take things too seriously. We have a family motto. We actually made it up right when we got married and it is “DBD.” Can anyone guess what that might stand for? It means: DON’T BE DUMB. Not in a mean way – but like, don’t be dumb and get upset over silly things. And don’t be dumb and make bad choices. And don’t be dumb and say mean things. This motto has helped us and we even have it on our entertainment center so we can see it every day. Don’t forget to have FUN! Don’t forget to date. Don’t forget to play and take some time just for the two of you. Don’t forget to smile. Don’t forget to make each other laugh.

7. CHANGES WILL COME: In my article, The Changes A Baby Brings, you can read all about what kinds of changes I am talking about here. BUT – a baby isn’t the only thing that can bring a change in your marriage. You may move. You may find a new job. You may pick up a new hobby. You may meet new friends. We all change – and that is a good thing. We should always be progressing and becoming better individuals, but I would like to emphasize that these changes and growing matters – should be together as a couple. You should grow together….as a team. Set goals as a family and work to achieve them. We always love having a little project that we work on together. We find it brings us closer together as we do our parts in achieving our accomplishments. Your love will grow stronger as you spend time together working on something you both want to be successful at.

8. WORDS HURT TOO: You know the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I am here to say…. that words do hurt. In fact, when they come from a spouse, your very best friend, your eternal companion – they hurt even worse. Think before you speak. My mom always reminded me growing up, “Kindness begins with me.” As a married woman now, I always try to remember that. Let us be kind to our spouses. Let us say uplifting and positive things to each other.

9. BEST FRIENDS FOREVER: We always used the phrase, “BFF” growing up – and you can actually really be BFF {Best Friends Forever} with your spouse! I have 10 Ways To Stay Best Friends With Your Husband here that might give you some guidelines. I remember on my Honeymoon – I had a little “wife moment.” I looked at Tyson and just stared at him {he thought I was crazy}! It hit me at a random second, while driving along the shore in Maui that I was on vacation, alone, with my HUSBAND! It was just me and him! There was nobody else on this earth that I would have rather been with at that moment. We should always remember that. You marry your best friend. You go on your Honeymoon with your best friend. So let him stay your best friend.

10. NEVER GIVE UP: Last, but certainly not least is to NEVER give up. Not on him. Not on you. Not on your marriage. When hard times come {and they will!} stay close together through spending time together, praying together, laughing together, forgiving together and just BEING together. Think about what is most important in your life – it is probably your family, yes? Make sure they are your priority and never give up on them. I love the quote by Thomas S. Monson, “What is most important almost always involves the people around us.”

I know that life isn’t perfect and hard times will come. BUT I do know that love can last, if we focus on what matters most. And don’t ever forget – the Honeymoon may only last a few days, but the “Honeymoon Love” can last forever!

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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

May 6, 2014 by Danielle Davis | 19 Comments