Love is an action, not some abstract concept. To enliven your feelings for your loved one, consider how they understand and express their sincerest emotions — then you can put that into practice. This will allow you to effectively communicate your affection for them in their love language.
Photo by Canico Studios
Learn how you can apply the five love languages to your relationship:
- Gifts. If your partner’s language of love is gifts, you should give them tokens of your affection. The items don’t need to be elaborate or costly. The presents show that you think of them while you’re apart and that you’re aware of what they need and like.
You needn’t try to come up with a gift your loved one has never heard of. It isn’t about novelty. Instead it’s a simple way to listen and acknowledge their needs. A study from the Stanford School of Business found that gift recipients appreciated receiving items they’ve asked for more than unsolicited ones.
- Quality time. There are many distractions in day-to-day life. Quieting those outside factors to focus on only your loved one can be a very powerful way to express your love. It’s about turning off the TV and not checking your phone or reading a magazine. Try giving your time and full attention to your partner for 20 uninterrupted minutes. This will allow you to connect with each other.
It reinforces a sense of self-worth, showing your loved one that they are an irreplaceable part of your life. This fosters a sense of safety and security.
Author Rick Warren discusses quality time in relationships in his best-selling book, The Purpose Driven Life. He writes, “Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.”
- Service. For some, actions speak louder than words when it comes to love. It isn’t about how frequently the words “I love you” are spoken. Instead, it’s about the action behind the words — putting your love into practice.
These small acts aren’t only about being nice — these selfless deeds are outward manifestations of your affection. A University of Rochester professor of psychology, Harry T. Reis says that thoughtful acts are a way to communicate to the other person that there is an understanding of what they value. When you acknowledge that, you show that you appreciate them.
It isn’t about getting service from your partner back in return. The acts of service need to come with no strings attached and no expectation of reciprocation.
To be of service to your partner doesn’t require grandiose gestures. It can be as simple as preparing a meal, doing the dishes or vacuuming. These are all signs of your devotion to your life together.
- Touch. Remember when you first fell in love with your significant other, the way their touch gave you butterflies? It proves the power behind touch. When we were children, our parents’ touch signified security and home. Research has found that touch can decrease blood pressure, lower heart rate, reinvigorate the area of the brain central to memory, and release hormones linked to creating upbeat emotions.
If you partner’s language of love is physical touch, find appropriate opportunities to reach out to them. They don’t need to be grand gestures and big public displays of affection. It isn’t about what other people witness. It’s what your loved one experiences, so put a hand on their shoulder, touch their leg while you’re in the car together, squeeze and hold their hands and give lots of hugs.
- Words. Praise, adoration and appreciation through words can be powerful for those whose language of love is verbal. This means saying “I love you,” but it also includes the use of words to show gratitude, humility, encouragement and empathy.
Impart positive and reassuring words to your loved one when they are struggling or unsure at work or other areas of their life. Offer words of understanding when the chips are down and so are your partner’s spirits. It isn’t about fixing a situation — it’s the ability to be there for your partner and bear witness to their experience.
Falling in love is passive, but staying in love is active. Love is powerful, and you must commit and recommit yourself to understanding your partner and finding ways to put your love into action. Watch and listen to see how they respond to the five different love languages and begin to mirror back what they need.
Sarah Landrum is a freelance writer and blogger with a passion for party planning and living life to the fullest. Get advice on having a happy, successful career on her blog Punched Clocks, and swing on over to Twitter to follow her @SarahLandrum
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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
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Amberly
March 4, 2016 at 8:29 pm (9 years ago)I LOVE the love languages! They’re super important!