How To Say I’m Sorry – To your kids. spouse. and yourself.

We all make mistakes. It is part of being human and is actually something that allows each of us to be a little different from each other. It is what makes this world an interesting place to live in! If we all were perfect and lived flawless lives there would be no way for us to be tried and tested, no way for us to grow and learn from our experiences.

I have come to realize that no matter how old we get, we STILL make mistakes. I may not fight with my mom about cleaning my room anymore, but I may lose my temper when my husband asks me what I did all day when he comes home and the house looks like a bomb blew up and the baby and I are still in our pajamas. Our mistakes may change as time goes on, but they will probably always be a part of life.

Photo credit to MS PHOTOGRAPHY

So, what do we do when we do something wrong? There are actually several steps in the forgiveness process. We of course FIRST need to recognize our mistake. Sometimes that is the hardest part of the whole process! Admitting that I did something wrong is just dreadful! Especially because I always thought the woman is ALWAYS right! 😉  SECOND, we need to feel sorry. THIRD, we need to actually say that we are sorry to the person that we have hurt. And LASTLY, we must make it correct and never do it again.

This process can be a challenge – especially if you are like me and make mistakes on a daily basis. I have noticed in many relationships, that all too often the ones we hurt the most, are the ones we love the most. So today, I have compiled a list of ways to say that you are sorry to those you are closest with – your children, your spouse and even yourself.

{HOW TO SAY I’M SORRY TO YOUR CHILDREN}: 

Just as much as our children are learning how to be children, as parents, we are learning how to be parents. We will make mistakes when it comes to parenting and we must learn how to apologize to even our little ones. In addition, it is our responsibility to teach our children at a young age to learn how to say I am sorry themselves. But how do we teach them this important lesson if we, as adults, can’t even do it?! Apologizing to our children is vital for their little minds. They need to hear it just like we want to hear it.

1. GET DOWN ON THEIR LEVEL: Children love to feel close to their parents. Squat down and get on their level. Sit on the couch and put them on your lap. Be close to them – they will find comfort in being near you.

2. ASK QUESTIONS: Children are SO forgiving, so use it as time to talk to them. Ask them questions like, “Did I hurt you?” “How do you feel?” “What can I do to make it up to you?” “What can I do to make you feel better?”

3. LOOK THEM IN THE EYE: My family has this thing called, “Head Bump” where we place our foreheads together and look each other right in the eyes. If I say “head bump” to our one-year-old she will put her head down, eyes up and put her forehead on mine. When I look her in the eyes and tell her I love her, she smiles. Look your children in the eye – it will mean that much more.

4. GIVE THEM A HUG: and even a kiss too! Physical touch is the perfect way to tell your child you are sorry. Let them know you love them by squeezing them tight and playing with them.

5. USE AS A TEACHING TOOL: As the parent, it is our responsibility to teach our children how to say sorry at a young age – so explain to them that everyone makes mistakes. Even mommy! And that no matter how big they get, saying sorry is always a nice thing to do.

{HOW TO SAY I’M SORRY TO YOUR SPOUSE}: 

When you are in a relationship, specifically marriage, often times you may find yourself hurting the one you love most – your very best friend. As humans, we tend to get comfortable with those we are with the most and may be more quick to anger when it comes to them. Your husband or wife is one of {if not THE} most important relationship you have, so we must cherish and work on it every single day.

1. ADMIT THAT YOU ARE WRONG: “Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband!” True, right?! 😉 Alright – maybe not 100% true, but like 99%. So, in that 1% when us women are wrong, we must admit it.

2. TALK IN PERSON: With so many electronics these days, sometimes it is easier to discuss through text – but as many of you probably know from experience, texting is sometimes tricky. You can’t hear exactly how the person is saying it and in what kind of tone they are using. It is always better to be face-to-face to truly understand and hear how the person is feeling.

3. LISTEN WITH REAL INTENT: Often times we listen to the first three words the person says and then we start thinking about how we are going to reply next, without truly hearing everything they have to say. SO, take the time and truly listen. Listen to their side of the story. Listen to why you may have made them upset. Listen with your heart and ears.

4. ASK FOR FORGIVENESS: In some cases, in order to move on, you must ask for forgiveness. Hearing the words, “I forgive you” will make it a lot easier for your relationship to carry on and grow from the experience.

5. SHOW THE LOVE: After you have apologized, show the love. Write a note. Plan a date. Give a gift. Say I Love You. Make them feel special and let them know you love them.

{HOW TO SAY I’M SORRY TO YOURSELF}: 

“You can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy.” Often times we can be our own worst critics. We can be hard on ourselves and struggle seeing past our flaws. In order to love others, you must love yourself first.

1. LET IT GO: Did you see this video?! I think it describes us moms – PERFECTLY! We need to learn how to let it go as moms and to forgive ourselves on a daily basis. In order for us to move on from our mistakes, we must let them go ourselves.

2. DON’T EXPECT PERFECTION: Nobody expects you to be perfect – so you shouldn’t either. AND if someone wants you to be perfect, let go of their expectations because they aren’t realistic. You can become better every single day, but at your own pace. If someone is being harsh on you, it is probably because of their own insecurities. You are doing SO GOOD – just the way you are!

3. LEARN FROM IT: After you make a mistake, the best thing to do is to look back on it and realize what you could have done differently and know that you can do that next time. It is never too late to change.

4. CREATE GOOD HABITS: Think of something for you to do, every time you get tempted to make the mistake again. For example, if you are working on not losing your temper with your children, every time you feel the heat coming over your body – create the habit of walking away, counting to 100, laugh or eat a cookie. Cookies pretty much help everything. 🙂

5. GO FORWARD WITH CONFIDENCE: Once you forgive yourself, carry on with your head held high, knowing you are going to do better next time and not make the mistake again. Know that you can do anything!

Forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. It takes a lot of work, self-motivation, confidence and endurance. It takes a lot to admit that you are wrong and to say that you are sorry! I hate doing it myself! But as we seek for forgiveness in our children and spouses, it will be easier to find forgiveness in ourselves.

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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

July 14, 2014 by Danielle Davis | 11 Comments