It’s not easy being a blogger.
Did you know everyday when bloggers write an article and publish it out into the Internet, it has potential to reach 3 BILLION people. According to Internet Live Stats, in 2014 there have been that many internet users in the entire world! SO crazy!
Putting yourself out there is NOT easy. There are going to be the lovers and there will definitely be the haters. In fact, my FAVORITE thing about having a website, is hearing from other women! I love hearing your stories, your trials, your kind thoughts and getting to know each of you individually. If I have learned anything – I have learned that EVERYONE is different.
Each of us have our own individual trials. And life can be hard for every single one of us. And when I mean hard, I mean really hard.
I recently heard from a young mom of four. She was so kind about an article that I had recently written and she made me feel so good! But suddenly everything changed. Her praises turned into criticism. And her positive thoughts became negative. She then continued and explained how much harder her life was, than mine. With four children of her own, she was more experienced in the “Motherhood” role than I, and in her eyes, I had it much easier than her.
And then she stated, “It’s not easy being ME.”
My immediate reaction was to “not care” and brush it off. BUT I am a girl and I have feelings. Often times when I say, “I’m so over it. I don’t even care.” it means the COMPLETE opposite. That really I am not over it and it is nagging at me. It started to hurt and then I realized…
She was right. It’s not easy being her.
Photo credit to our talented photographer Canico Studios
No matter how old or young you are. No matter how many children you have. No matter where you live, how much money you have or what your talents are… being a mom is hard.
In reply to this woman, I say the following:
To the woman who wants to be a mom, but for some reason isn’t able to be one right now: It’s not easy being you. Praying and hoping for your miracle is one of the most emotional times in life. To see everyone have something, you would do pretty much ANYTHING for – is devastating. To have something constantly on your mind and not knowing why you aren’t able to have a child of your own is completely heartbreaking. It is truly physically, emotionally and mentally draining. YOU don’t have it easy.
To the pregnant mom who is uncomfortable, sick, constantly nauseas, gaining weight and emotional: It’s not easy being you. Spending your day in the bathroom, struggling to find clothes that fit and constantly worrying about the little baby inside of you that you have never even met – can be miserable. Craving the strangest foods, but gagging at the very sight or smell of your old favorite meal is frustrating. Tossing and turning every night and trying to “get your rest before the baby comes” feels impossible. YOU don’t have it easy.
To the new mom who is living off of one hour of sleep today, because your baby just DOESN’T sleep: It’s not easy being you. Waking up every hour, trying to rock the baby patiently back to sleep as you close your eyes and nursing or bottle feeding as you just dream of the day you could sleep for a four hour period without interruptions, is exhausting. Begging for your husband, your mom, your friend, ANYONE to come take a “turn” so you can sleep for just a few hours and then having to pick yourself up in the morning like nothing ever happened the whole night…YOU don’t have it easy.
To the mom who has one child, and may only have one child your whole life: It’s not easy being you. Whether one is all you would like or you are unable to have any more because of your physical needs, having one child a challenge. Devoting your whole heart and soul into this miracle of yours and wanting them to become the best they can be, while teaching them numbers, shapes, letters, songs, sports and social skills is a lot of work! YOU are a mom and YOU don’t have it easy.
To the mom who has several children and maybe even another on the way: It’s not easy being you. I may not know this from experience, but my sister has five children and I talk to her almost everyday. Not only are you a mom – you are multi-tasking QUEEN. Driving children here and there, friends coming in and out of your house for playdates constantly, helping with homework, playing with the littles, feeding the baby all while making dinner, packing lunches and giving each individual child your attention… YOU don’t have it easy.
To the mom who is able to stay at home with your children: It’s not easy being you. As much of a blessing it is to have the opportunity to spend so much time at home and be in their lives, house-life can be chaotic. Between kissing boo-boos, wiping tears, potty training, story time, homework helping, play time and days where you just hope to survive – YOU don’t have it easy.
To the mom who goes to work everyday, providing for your family: It’s not easy being you. Working all day and then coming home to family is a LOT of work. How do you do it?! Getting off a 9-hour shift and having to make dinner, bathe the babies and get them in bed – and then having to wake up early to go back to work the next day… you are a busy woman! Providing for your family is a lot of pressure and you are doing what is best for your family. YOU don’t have it easy.
To the mom who is tired. To the mom who is overwhelmed. To the mom who tries her best every day. To the mom who fakes a smile. To the mom who pushes through everyday…. YOU don’t have it easy.
It’s not easy for any of us.
I hope we can be more loving. I hope we can be less judgmental. I hope we can show more kindness. I hope we can be more supportive. Because at the end of the day – It’s not easy being me. And it’s not easy being YOU either.
What would you do if you were told that your life was easy and you knew that wasn’t true? I would love to hear from you!
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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
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Olivia
February 2, 2017 at 8:21 am (8 years ago)It never really gets “easier.” It just becomes a different kind of difficult. Thanks for sharing such a great article.
Genevieve
February 19, 2015 at 11:13 am (10 years ago)So well written! You are exceptionally kind. Hats off to you!
Brenda Bird
October 19, 2014 at 5:37 pm (10 years ago)Beautifully explained. Everyone is fighting a battle. Someone’s trial, big or small, is a trial nonetheless. We would be a lot happier when we stop comparing ourselves to others and empathetic and loving instead.
Jamie
October 18, 2014 at 11:26 am (10 years ago)i love this article. The other day we had a conversation with our oldest 15 year old daughter about how hard her life is and how we don’t understand what she is going through. Even though it wasn’t about motherhood it was about trials.
Each one of us was put on this earth to experience life through trials. It is through those trials that we learn and grow. Some of us take those trials head on and find joy in what life throws at us. Others struggle with those trials and try to find purpose, direction and validation.
When I was a new mom I thought I totally had this parenting thing and than I was blessed with a child who has special needs. That rocked my world a bit, but oh what a blessing she has been and the joy she brings into my life. Then after the second child I was diagnosed with a chronic medical condition that effects my whole family. Even after that and two kids later, I wouldn’t change that for the world. Even though I struggle that I can not be the parent I want to be sometimes because of my condition, I am thankful for MY trials.
I look at others in my life at what they are going through and say to myself, “I could never do what they are experiencing”. That is because that is what they have to experience to learn and grow, not what I need to experience. Each and everyone of us must experience this life and what it throws at us. The most important thing is that we need to find joy in those trials and experiences that we have been given and not compare, judge, and/or belittle our trials with others, in that there is no joy, and we are on this earth to find joy!
Thanks for your article.
Cami
October 18, 2014 at 9:32 am (10 years ago)What an incredible message!! I am often way too quick to judge, so this is really good for me to read. Your response is so good and kind. We do all have our own struggles, and we are here to help each other become the best through them. Thanks again! Love your website!
kelly
October 18, 2014 at 7:13 am (10 years ago)This is beautifully written and moved me to tears for the moms out there. Might I add one more – the stepmom, who loves her kids just as fiercely as any other mom, who cares for them when they’re sick, helps with homework, feeds them and clothes them – and then has to suck it up when people tell her she doesn’t know what it’s like to be a “real” mom, or “Why do you do all that? They’re not your real kids”.
Debbie Dixon
October 18, 2014 at 4:46 am (10 years ago)My husband lost his father in a plane crash when he was 9 and his mom has 6 children ages 14 to 6 months. A few years ago someone who did not know her story but just saw her 6 grown children and wonderful they turned out told her how easy she had it because her kids were all so good. She just about fell on the floor! The lady had NO idea what she had been through or what she had sacrificed for her kids! She also had 2 still births at 39 weeks and 4 terrible miscarriages. We all need to be careful how we judge. I believe every single person has it hard we think someone’s life is their facebook posts and all smiles but everyone has it hard. It is how we deal with it that matters and with my mother-in-law as an example I know with God’s help anything is possible.
Amy
October 18, 2014 at 4:11 am (10 years ago)I get it. Why doesn’t the lady try on my life for size. My husband is deceased, and my children are 5 and 7. I am happy to be me. And happy that life can be and is good despite the lack of father and husband. I embraced my role in life and live every moment. Good luck to the mother who thinks its bad with 4 kids (and a husband). She has LOVE and his income to feed everyone. She is loved and needed. We are all needed as mothers.
Kristen
October 18, 2014 at 3:29 am (10 years ago)Bonkers! She must have been having a hard mommy day to say that. I have at different times experienced all {except for trying to conceive} and you are spot on! I think many of us have days where we don’t feel validated until we make everyone know how hard our lives are…but this should not be taken out on other moms! We need to be allies! Handled like a pro mommyfriend! {instead of girlfriend. lets make it a thing.}
Claire
October 18, 2014 at 12:30 am (10 years ago)I LOVE THIS!!! So true, thank you for sharing!
jackie
October 17, 2014 at 11:45 pm (10 years ago)Thank you for this. I just started blogging and wrote a very person blog and it is so hard to put yourself out there to be judged. I am feeling very vulnerable and unsure about it.
You have a way of saying things that is so uplifting and I appreciate it. You are inspiring and an amazing blogger. Thank you.
Angelica
October 17, 2014 at 11:05 pm (10 years ago)I think you covered it all very well. No one knows exactly what you are going thru except for yourself. We all have our own personal struggles so we can’t really judge each other nor should we. It’s like what you said we as moms sometimes put on that fake smile but on the inside we are worn out, sad, depressed etc. But as the stron women and mothers that we are… We roll with the punches.
I am so proud of this message and the different senarios. I am sure we can all relate to one or more!
It is hard to ask for help but I know as an LDS sister and my LDS sisters around me we have each others backs.
I loved this blog!
Stephanie
October 17, 2014 at 10:04 pm (10 years ago)I love the way you responded to that message. It probably isn’t easy being in her shoes. But how does she know what it’s like to be in yours, or mine. I work two jobs while my husband goes to school full time and stays at home with our baby during the day. I sure think it’s hard what I do, but I would never know the heartache of some moms that want more children and can’t, or moms that want to provide for there families more and can’t. Thanks for posting this, It pretty much made me cry, in a good way. It’s nice to hear someone tell you it’s not easy doing what we do. <3
Amber Louchart (Metro Detroit Mommy)
October 17, 2014 at 9:39 pm (10 years ago)Completely true… nothing worthwhile is easy, motherhood is no exception.
Danielle Davis
October 17, 2014 at 10:09 pm (10 years ago)Amber I couldn’t agree more. Stopping the mommy wars and helping each other work together to make a brighter future for our kids is so important. Thanks so much for your comment!