Lessons Learned as a First Time Mom

Today is a VERY special day for me. My life was forever changed exactly two years ago. It was a day that I wasn’t sure would ever happen. It was a day that all of my dreams came true. It was a day that I will never forget.

Let’s go back to when I was 10 years old. I was in Mrs. Pyne’s fifth grade class. She was an amazing teacher…one of my very favorites. I remember she passed around a piece of paper that was for the yearbook. We were supposed to write what we wanted to be when we grew up. A lot of my friends wrote doctors, veterinarians, teachers and police officers. But none of that seemed appealing to me… there was only one thing I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a mom.

When I was 17 years old I was diagnosed with an intense case of PCOS. After one little ultrasound, I was told news that shattered my childhood dreams. The doctor looked me in the eyes and told me I may not be able to have children. I was heart broken. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and now I was told it was probably not possible.

I married my High School sweetheart and very best friend a few years later. We were only married 6 months when we got the best news of our lifetime. WE WERE PREGNANT! I couldn’t believe it.  “That doctor had no idea what he was talking about,” we thought! We told our families and social media, we bought books and magazines. We were ecstatic. We were going to be parents! A few weeks passed and we were supposed to go listen to our little guys heart beat. The day before though, we woke up to something I never want to see again. We had lost our baby. We had lost our miracle.

We tried for several years to get pregnant. And finally after 8 rounds of clomid, 1 failed IUI, 2 cancelled IUI’s, 2 surgeries, 2 D&C’s, 1 cycle of IVF, countless tests and hundreds of needles… our dreams came true. We were pregnant again after 4 years of fertility treatments. (To read more about our infertility journey, and IVF click here)

Pregnancy was hard on my body. I spent nearly 5 months on bed rest! But the day finally came for our baby to come. It was a beautiful, January, Sunday afternoon. Tyson and I were very anxious for our angel to come, as were our families. We pulled into the hospital ready to meet our baby girl. I honestly couldn’t believe the day had finally come. It was unreal. (Click here for the full birth story of our miracle)

Laila changed my life. In fact she has taught me so much the past 365 days. Today, I would like to share with you everything I have learned the past two years as a first time mom. These are my LESSONS LEARNED AS A FIRST TIME MOM.

I HAVE LEARNED….

1. WHAT LOVE IS: The moment the doctor laid her in my arms, I knew what love was. I had never thought that I could fall in love with someone so fast. It is pretty crazy, because I didn’t think that I could love her more than I did that day, but my love continues to grow for her daily.

2. HOW TO HAVE PATIENCE: I feel like a lot of my life lessons have tested my patience. I waited for my husband to return from a two year mission before I was able to marry him. I waited 4 years to have a baby. And my patience is tested daily as I am learning how to be a mom. I am still not perfectly patient, but I strive to have more every day.

3. HOW TO SHOW KINDNESS: My family has been so blessed with many friends and family members who have supported us the past few years. I have learned how to show kindness to those who are struggling, through their examples.

4. TO NEVER GIVE UP: I could have easily given up. In fact, I did a few times through the years of infertility. But luckily, I had a husband to pick me up and keep moving me forward. This past year I have learned to never give up on being a mom. Some days were amazing and some days were HARD. But I learned to never stop trying.

5. THE IMPORTANCE OF SERVICE: When I was on bed rest, I saw more acts of service that I had my whole life. This year, I have tried to serve others and pay it forward from the service that I received. I want to teach Laila how important it is to serve and help those in need.

6. EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION: Between friends, family, doctors, books and the internet… I was constantly being told what to do and how to do it. I learned that everyone has an opinion and to take a look at it to see if it fits in with how you want to parent. Listen to each opinion, but then form your own. Only you are the mom and only you know what is best for your baby.

7. LEARN FROM MISTAKES: I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be the flawless mom that did NOTHING wrong. Well, I learned that nobody is perfect and how to learn from my mistakes. I may not be able to perfect, but I can always try my best.

8. GROW TOGETHER AS A FAMILY: This is so important. Bringing a baby into your home, changes the whole dynamic. It is no longer about you and your husband… you have a baby now! I learned how important it is to spend time with my husband and still grow with him. It was important for us to put the baby to bed and still have a few hours to be just US and have that time together.

9. FAMILIES ARE FOREVER: I honestly can’t imagine not being with my family forever. I am so lucky that I get to be with them for eternity even after death.

10. TIME MANAGEMENT: I have always been a “late” person, but having a baby has actually helped me with my time management. When she was a newborn and needed to eat every 2-3 hours, I planned my day around that. Now that she is older, she takes her naps and I plan my day around those. It has been nice to learn how to make a schedule and squeeze all of my daily events into the calendar.

11. THE IMPORTANCE OF TAKING CARE OF MYSELF: I have learned how important it is to get up and take a shower. It may sound a little crazy, but when I am proactive and get up and take care of myself, the day just seems to be better. If I start my day with a shower and that is all I do all day besides taking care of the baby… It makes me feel accomplished.

12. THE IMPORTANCE OF TAKING CARE OF HER: Just as important it is to take care of ourselves, we of course need to take care of our babies. When she cries, that means there is something wrong and I need to fix it. If she is smiling, that means she is happy and I am doing an okay job. Our house has so much peace when I am focused on her and helping her meet her needs.

13. THE TRUE MEANING OF SELFLESS: I have truly learned what this word means. It is caring completely about someone else, besides yourself. That she comes FIRST.

14. HOW TO CLEAN: As she is getting older, this is a tough one. BUT I try to do it. It feels like I clean one box of toys up, only to hear another “BANG” of all of her other toys being spilled out onto the ground. I have learned how to clean my downstairs daily during nap time and have her play upstairs and make a mess. I have learned the house doesn’t need to (and probably won’t be) PERFECTLY clean all the time.

15. HOW TO MULTI-TASK: I am sure you moms can relate. I have perfected the multi-tasking ability. This year I learned how to talk to my mom on the phone and pay a bill online while combing Laila’s dolls hair with her.

16. HOW TO COOK DINNER WITH ONE HAND: Not very many people can probably say that they know how to cook dinner with a baby on their hip! MOMS DO!

17. TO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE: Laila is nice to everyone. We were at Target the other day and she was waving hi and blowing kisses to every person we came in contact with. She didn’t judge them by the way they looked or dressed. She loved them all.

18. HOW TO LAUGH AT MY MISTAKES: I stubbed my toe the other day on our table and I said, “Ow! Ow! Ow!” as I danced around the room. Laila just laughed. Of course I had to laugh with her. She makes me smile!

19. HOW IT FEELS TO REALLY BE SCARED: When Laila had Roseola, I was legitimately scared. Before we got the diagnosis, we had no idea what was wrong with her, but bumps covered her whole entire body. I didn’t know what to do and for those few moments, I was scared.

20. HOW IT FEELS TO REALLY BE HAPPY: Just last night, we were playing as a family. We like to play a game where Tyson holds Laila and I chase them around the house. Laila laughs SO hard, which makes us laugh as well. I think the three of us at that moment were truly happy.

21. HOW IT FEELS TO BE REALLY TIRED: I honestly can’t tell you how exhausting being a mom is! ESPECIALLY those first few weeks. They were hard. But they are worth it! Keep going.

22. WHAT DIAPER SIZES ARE: When Tyson and I went to go buy our first box of diapers we had no idea what we were doing. Now I can tell you everything about each brand and how what size your baby needs based on his/her weight.

23. HOW TO ORGANIZE: With having a baby, comes a lot of THINGS. You have diapers, wipes, burp clothes, swaddle blankets, onesies, outfits, pajamas, rubber duckies, books, toys and the list goes on. I have learned how to organize and separate each item into its own place.

24. TO LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY: I love to capture each moment of my growing baby. I don’t want any minute to pass us by! I love to take pictures of her doing things so she can see how much fun she had even when she was a little baby.

25. TO NOT GIVE MY PHONE TO BABIES: This past year, I broke 3 iPhones. Lesson learned.

26. TO PUT MY PHONE AWAY: I was on my phone once while playing with Laila and she came up to me, took my phone and threw it behind her. I learned that day that she doesn’t want me on my phone. I don’t want to be on my phone. I need to be with her and spend these special days with HER. From then on, when it is play time with Laila, my phone is away and I do not touch it.

27. WHY MOMS ALWAYS SAY THEY LOVE NAP TIME: I always thought it was so strange when I heard moms saying they love nap time. I told myself when I became a mom, I wouldn’t love it. I am a mom. Being with her is my job. I was wrong. I love nap time! I love the time it gives me to write on my blog, clean the house and have a little quiet time to myself.

28. THAT MY LOVE FOR SHOPPING IS A REAL THING: Yes, she has taught me this. I could shop all day long. I wish I could buy her every outfit in the world. Babies are FUN to shop for.

29. THAT A GIRL CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY BOWS: Laila is known for her bows. I love that she likes to wear them too. A lot of people told me she would start taking them off when she turned 6 or 7 months old… but I am happy to say she is 12 months old today and still loves her bows! She is my girl!

30. THE FACT THAT WE ARE BORN WITH OUR PERSONALITIES: Laila is the most serious baby. I honestly believe she was born this way. She was also born PERFECT. I love everything about her, but no matter how hard I try… it is sometimes hard to make that serious scowl turn into a smile. I love her and I love that she came to us like that. I never thought I would have such a serious baby!

31. THE IMPORTANCE OF MEDICINE: This year I was sick with mastitis THREE times and Laila has had several sicknesses herself. I am grateful for medication that has healed us.

32. THE IMPORTANCE OF GOOD DOCTORS: Sometimes I wonder if my doctor hates me because I bother him so much, but I am grateful for GOOD doctors. Doctors that know what they are doing and truly want the best for their patients.

33. THAT MUSIC IS A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE: If Laila is sad or fussy, I can turn on music and she puts a smile on her face to dance the night away. I love music and LOVE that she loves it too. I love that music is a way for us to communicate, even if we can’t talk to each other.

34. HOW TO ENJOY THE MOMENT: I have learned to NEVER take a moment for granted. EVER.

35. THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN CUDDLES: Even at 3am, I love my baby cuddles. I am not sure if there is anything better than rocking a baby to sleep in your arms. There is just something so angelic about it.

36. SOMETIMES WE JUST WANT OUR MOMS: It goes for adults too, right? Sometimes I just want to talk to my mom! And it goes for our babies too. Sometimes she just wanted ME. And I loved those moments. Maybe it was my touch or smell, but sometimes I am the only one who can comfort her.

37. SOMETIMES WE JUST WANT OUR DADS: She is a daddy’s girl and loves him more than anything. Sometimes she doesn’t want me, she wants her daddy. Dad’s have a special way of making us happy.

38. IT’S OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES: I have learned that I will make mistakes, but then how to carry on.

39. THE IMPORTANCE OF GOING OUTSIDE: I try to get outside DAILY. Something about the sun on our faces and the warm air can make our day better. I have learned to get out and go for a walk! It is good for you AND baby.

40. WHAT CHANNEL DISNEY JUNIOR and NICKELODEON ARE ON: Before I had Laila I didn’t really watch TV (besides The Bachelor!). I have learned this year what channels are her favorites. Bubble Guppies song is in my head almost all day, every day.

41. THAT HAVING A PAJAMA DAY IS OKAY: I have learned that it is okay if we stay in our pi’s and play! We have had a few of those this year and they have been the funnest family days.

42. THAT ROUTINES ARE NECESSARY: Having a routine has been SO good for us, especially at bed time. When she was 6 months old we started our nightly routine and we have never had a problem since. We give her a bath, read her a story, sing a song and say a prayer. We then turn off the lights and shut the door. She goes down on her own. It is nice to start a routine and I suggest a routine to all first time moms. The baby starts to understand and put together that if she is in the bath, then it is is bedtime soon.

43. THAT IT IS OKAY TO SPLASH IN THE TUB AND MAKE A MESS: Kids will be kids, so let them be. Laila loves to splash and kick in the tub. It is one of her most favorite things to do. Let them have fun. Let them be kids. They will only get to be little for so long.

44. TO BE FLEXIBLE WITH MY SCHEDULE: With a baby you never know what is going to happen. Numerous times this year I would be running out the door and have a huge poop explosion as we were leaving. I would have to come back in and not only change her diaper, but often times change her whole outfit. Be flexible. Know that things are going to happen.

45. GIVE HUGS AND KISSES WHENEVER I WANT: I love that as she is getting older, she is learning how to show love. Randomly she will come over to me, kiss me and give me a big hug. I have learned I need to be more like that. Show the people in your life how important they are to you…anytime, anywhere.

46. STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES: My doctor told us this when Laila was born and I think of it often. Slow down. Enjoy life. It is going by FAR too quickly!

47. ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS: I love that babies get excited about the littlest things. I have learned that the little things are sometimes the most important things.

48. TO HAVE FUN: Being a mom can be FUN. Of course it is stressful and hard… but it is important to have FUN. Make memories, do exciting things, go to the park and make our children happy.

49. TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: I need to believe in myself and you need to believe in yourself. Know that you can do it! You can be whatever kind of mom you want to be.

50. THAT MIRACLES HAPPEN: I now know, that miracles happen. I have one sleeping next to me right now.

My husband made this video about our story. I hope you enjoy it…

With each lesson that I have been taught, a blessing has come. I am grateful that I have had the opportunity of becoming a mom. I type this with tears in my eyes and share with you that I know that miracles happen. That everything happens for a reason. That Heavenly Father answers prayers and that the best things in life are truly worth waiting for.

I have only been a mom for two years, but feel like I have known my baby FOREVER. I hope each of you moms will not take a minute for granted. That every day, you will find a lesson that you learned through your children. I hope that you women who are soon to be moms or will be moms in the future, will cherish every minute of being a mom. The time goes fast. Don’t let it pass you by.

All of the photos in this article are by our amazing photographer, Christine Olson Photography.

Have you learned these lessons as a mom? Don’t forget to share! –

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

January 6, 2014 by Danielle Davis | 2 Comments