Marriage Matters After The Baby

I remember when Laila was just a few months old, I was out for a walk with a friend and our babies. We were talking about everything girls talk about – husbands, in-laws, friends and babies. It was nice catching up and being outside with a newborn AND it was really nice having girl talk.

I remember telling her that I was a little concerned that my marriage was going to be completely different than what I expected. Tyson and I were exhausted! Laila wasn’t sleeping through the night yet, I was still nursing and getting up with her in the middle of the night and our schedule was completely thrown for a loop.

I felt like our lives were never going to be back to “normal” and we were never going to have “us” time again.

My husband and I dated for five years before we were married and were married for four years before we had a baby. That is nine years of just the two of us!

We were used to our schedule. We were use to our time together. We were use to doing everything WE wanted to do, when we wanted to do it. But everything had changed – it was no longer about late date nights and sleeping in on the weekends.

It felt like all we did was feed the baby, rock the baby, change the baby and literally stare at the baby. {we were a bit obsessed with her… maybe we still are 😉 }

If you are a parent, you know how FAST time goes! Just a few months passed by for us and suddenly Laila was on a schedule. Not only that, but she was sleeping through the night!

In fact, she now goes to sleep at 7:30pm and doesn’t wake up until 7:30am. Our lives were changing and we were finding more “us” time again… something I thought would never happen.

Before a baby, 7pm meant dinner time! The night was young! It was time to go out to dinner, go to a movie, go out on a date or go to a friend’s house. Now that we are parents, 7pm means bath time, bed time, lights out and being at home.

I quickly learned that I was wrong on our walk. Yes, our lives had changed so much {you can read about that here} but that didn’t mean our marriage ended. It didn’t mean that I didn’t matter to him and it didn’t mean that he didn’t matter to me!

We were still married. We were still best friends. Just because we had a baby, didn’t mean that our relationship was over. Marriage matters after the baby!

When the baby goes to sleep at 7:30pm, what should you do?! The lights are out and you are stuck at home, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have FUN! Here are 8 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGE AFTER THE BABY GOES TO SLEEP:

1. PLAY A GAME: We LOVE games! Did you know there are several games you can play, just the two of you?! Some of our favorites are Jenga,Phase 10 ,Blokus ,Guess Who?,Battleship andScattergories. Every marriage has to have a little competition every now and then. It is the perfect way to have some fun together. Just a little tip from someone who plays games often with their husband: let him win every now and then… it isn’t good for these men’s ego’s to lose all the time.

2. PULL OUT THE NINTENDO/Wii/PLAYSTATION/xBOx: Who said Nintendo was for little kids? One of our favorite games is the old Mario for Nintendo! or Mario Kart for Nintendo 64. We use to stay up until 2am playing this game TANKS on the Wii. It was such a random game, but so addicting! These games are quiet, you can play with the lights out while the baby is sleeping and it is a super easy clean up.

3. WATCH A MOVIE: You can rent a movie, watch one on TV or the internet or watch an old DVD that you own. I am a 100% Chick Flick girl – I struggle through any movie that doesn’t have a love story, but of course my husband loves the manly movies…so we like to compromise. We will watch a “boy movie” and then the next time we will watch a chick flick. It is perfect! AND don’t forget it is always a good idea to try to be interested in what he likes. Even if you absolutely dread it – he will love that you are supporting him.

4. HAVE A “SHOW”: This may sound funny, but do you have “your song?” Well – you can also have “your show.” A show you both enjoy and get into. We were obsessed with LOST the first year of our marriage. We literally would lay in bed on a Saturday all day and watch it! This past year, Breaking Bad was “our show!” We watched it almost every night and were even Breaking Bad people for Halloween {Laila being a police officer arresting us}. Find a show you both enjoy and get into it.

5. NACHO NIGHT: One thing we have in common is eating. We both love it! Sometimes at night he will look over and say, “Nacho Night?” And I rarely decline of course. We go into the kitchen and make nachos together. If you don’t like nachos, you can make something else. It is fun to make something together and then it is really fun to eat something together! The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right?

6. ICE CREAM RUNS: The baby is sleeping, so you may think you can’t go on late night fast food runs anymore – but that isn’t true! One of you stay home and one of you go! We love Sonic runs or gas station runs. One of us will go get treats and bring them home to eat together. Nothing better than a late night treat!

7. READ TOGETHER: You can read a book together, scriptures together, a magazine together, blogs together, the news together – anything really! I like reading with my husband because he always has different insights on things. I am a pretty basic person and he is super knowledgable. After reading, discuss what you have read and talk about your opinions and thoughts about the article or chapter. It is fun to hear your spouse’s thoughts.

8. CUDDLE AND TALK: The last {but possibly my favorite} thing to do while the baby is sleeping is turning off the television, putting the food away and just cuddling! Some of the best conversations you can have with your spouse are the moments of laying together and telling him/her about your day. What you loved and what you hated. What you hope for and what your goals are. As you spend time talking to your spouse, your love will grow as you learn more about each other.

A baby is such a blessing! And your man is a blessing too! Make sure you treasure him, even after you have children.

I heard a quote once that talked about treasuring your spouse, because one day your children will be grown and it will be just the two of you again. Work hard at your marriage and show love to one another.

“We should remember that saying ‘I love you’ is only a beginning. We need to say it, we need to mean it, and most importantly we need consistently to show it. We need to both express and demonstrate love.” David A. Bednar

Thank you for stopping by this post! This month we are sponsoring a fundraiser to fight juvenile cancer. Please click the image below to learn about the fundraiser and how you can help! Thank you!

Don’t Forget to share this post with someone who is expecting in the near future!

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

March 28, 2014 by Danielle Davis | 11 Comments