Motherhood: From A Mom Who Was Told She Would Never Be A Mom

I was sixteen years old when I was sitting in a cold doctor’s office with my mom. We had been running test after to test to see what the problem might be – and the results were finally in.

The doctor swung open the door and sat us both down to tell us the news. The news that no mom wants to hear about their daughter – and no 16 year old wants to hear about herself.

“I’m so sorry – but it looks like you may not be able to conceive children in your future. And if you do – it will surely be hard and a true miracle.”

Fast forward ten years later….

It was a Wednesday afternoon about four years ago, and we were walking into the Fertility Center…hand in hand.

My husband and I had been looking forward to this day for YEARS. We were finally implanting our baby embryos inside of me through inVitro, with high hopes to become parents after four long years of fertility treatments and procedures.

Years prior, we had several failed treatments that left us devastated and heart broken – but our new doctor had given us high hopes for this time around and was certain we were finally going to be able to experience the joys of parenthood that we had honestly dreamed of.

A few weeks later {might I add…the LONGEST weeks of my life as we waited and waited for the results to come in} we got a call from our doctor with the most exciting news of our lifetime – it WORKED! And we were finally expecting a miracle baby!

I sat at my desk in the busy office I was working at – with phones ringing and emails blowing up my computer…and cried. Oh, did I cry.

I was a mom. I was FINALLY a mom. I had a baby INSIDE of me! Something that I truly didn’t know would ever happen…was happening.

I didn’t need to hold the precious miracle in my arms for me to fall in love. In fact, I fell in love with the little lady at the sight of two pink lines on an at-home-pregnancy test as soon as I got off work. The last time I had seen those lines, was about four years prior that ended in a sorrowful miscarriage.

I got home and noticed the BUCKETS of shots, needles, syringes, oils, pills and suppositories I had been putting in my body over the last few months preparing for this moment. There was a lot I was thankful for – a loving a husband, modern medicine, incredible doctors, a supportive family and of course miracles and answers to prayers.

It’s amazing when you become a mom {and if you are a mom I am sure you understand} the instant love and connection you feel with your baby even when it is the little size of a blueberry…or even smaller.

The moment you see those two pink lines saying you are pregnant is incredible! And then the first time you see that little flickering heartbeat on the ultrasound screen you fall more in love. Or the first time you feel the baby move inside of you, you fall even MORE in love. And suddenly you would absolutely do anything EVER for this little nugget you haven’t even met yet.

Motherhood is a precious gift. It is something that I hope mom’s everywhere will treasure and cherish. Something we won’t take for granted or just brush to the side.

Today I have a list of SEVEN things that are the most special to me, as a mom who was once told would never be a mom….

Photo by Brittany Busk Photography 

1. AS MOMS, WE GIVE LIFE TO OUR CHILDREN, BUT REALLY THEY GIVE US LIFE: When a baby is born, a mom is born…and you completely change. We’re not just talking about your photos on Facebook changing to ALLLLLL baby or your flat tummy now being a little more curvy, we’re talking EVERYTHING about you. The way you think. The way you worry. The way you sleep. The way you eat. The way you love. The way you cry. The way you hope. The way you pray. The way you get stressed out. The way you live. You change – and it’s the best change in the entire world.

2. CHERISH THE LITTLE THINGS: I mean little things. Little things that you probably don’t even really think about too much. Like folding a child’s laundry. Or picking up spilt cheerios. Or nursing your little baby. Or washing 7 cups per child a day. Or washing fingerprints off the windows. Or slobbery kisses and big bear hugs. Or reading bedtime stories and hearing the words “I love you, Mom.” Cherish it all. Every part. The ugly parts. The stressful parts. The heartaches and the joys. The good parts. The best parts. And even the really crazy parts.

3. ALL YOU CAN DO IS TRY: Your kids may not remember exactly what you said, but they will surely remember how you made them feel. I hope my kids remember that mommy tried. Even when I was tired and even when I was overwhelmed. I hope they know I did it all for them. We aren’t perfect. Good moms have really bad days. Really stinky days. Days of tears and days of wanting to even maybe give up. But good moms also have good days. Where they can laugh. Where they can seek forgiveness. And where they can pick themselves up and try again.

4. IT’S WORTH IT: Kids are not always easy. But I can promise you – they are always worth it. Every stretch mark. Every wrinkle. Every sleepless night. Every tear.  They’re worth it – I promise. The procedures and shots and knee falling prayers and blood and hard days… it’s worth it all. And you know how I know it is worth it? Because after I look at my girl, I am willing to go through all of those things again – to experience the overwhelming joy that children can bring into our lives.

5. SPEAK KINDLY: Sometimes you’ll be the “worst mom in the world” for saying no. And sometimes your kids will get angry with you because well, you’re their mom and if you’re doing things right, they will definitely have those moments of not being too fond of you. But as  a mom who wasn’t sure would ever be able to be one, I hope you will speak kindly… to everyone.

Speak kindly to your kids – because you are everything to them and they believe everything you say. Speak kindly to you spouse – because they are your partner in crime and you will be with them forever. Speak kindly to your friends – because they need you. And speak kindly to even strangers – because you never know what anyone is going through. Speak positively about your children and being a mom, because there are so many women who would do ANYTHING to be in your place.

6. PERFECTION ISN’T NECESSARY: You may not be perfect, but when you look at your little ones, you KNOW that you got at least one thing perfectly right! You don’t need to do it all and you definitely don’t need to continue to try to keep up with every “perfect” mom on Instagram – because let me tell you, they aren’t perfect either. When you get down – just take a look at the little miracle you created that is either in your arms or running around destroying your house and remember that you definitely did something right in creating a super cute kid.

7. IT’S ALL ABOUT LOVE: Being a mom is a lot of work and there may be a lot of moments where you feel less than happy or less than fabulous. But as a woman, you will find pride in a lot of things you do in life. You will probably be super successful in everything you do and probably have a lot to to be really proud of – but NOTHING…NOTHING EVER will beat being a mom. Love yourself. Love your spouse. Love your babies. And love your roles as a woman…especially LOVE being a mom.

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

June 9, 2016 by Danielle Davis | 1 Comment