I am grateful for the mothers in the world that are single. The mothers who work all day to provide for their families, grocery shop so there is food in the cupboards, make dinner so their families are fed, clean so their house is in order, deal with the finances/bills and love their children unconditionally – with no other support from a husband. If this is a description of you, I want you to know today that YOU inspire me! YOU are incredible! YOU are an example to me! And YOU are doing an amazing job.
I guess I should start out by a brief introduction. My name is Sandi Frazer, and I am 41, and the mother to just one amazing kid, my 13 year old daughter, Ryan.
My story seems to be a bit different than the other stories I have read in Danielle‘s blog. You see, I am a bit older than most, and I am a single mother. I have raised Ryan completely on my own since she was a year old. I’m not sure how to start out my story, it hasn’t always been easy, but I will share with you this one fact right off the bat… I wouldn’t change a single thing.
I met my now ex-husband when I was 23 years old, and he told me right from the start of our relationship that due to some medical issues, he would never be able to father more children. (He is substantially older than I am, and he has two grown children that are close to my age from a previous marriage.) I had never even given ANY thought that I might never have children. I was sad to think I would never know Motherhood. But I was in love, and I married him knowing that I would never be a Mom. We had settled into our lives and he had even given me a couple cats to spoil. I thought I was content living like this. Even though when his daughter would come to visit, my heart would break seeing him play with his young granddaughters , knowing that I was a “grandmother”, but would never be a Mom myself.
Then when I was 28 years old, it happened. A true miracle! I thought stress had caused my cycle to be off, but after a couple months, and being very sick, I took a pregnancy test just to rule that out. I was pregnant, and I was ELATED!!! But it was sadly obvious from that very moment, that my husband did not want a baby. Our relationship changed dramatically from the moment I found out that I was pregnant. Skipping over a lot, he walked out on us forever, just after Ryan’s first birthday, never to be seen again.
Fast forward to now: In my 13 years of being a mom, I’ve learned to never take a moment of her childhood for granted. Celebrate every birthday with crazy parties, make every Christmas a treasured memory, and do everything in your power to make your kid the center of your Universe. This is what they will remember. Look back at your own childhood. I know when I do, it is Easters and Christmases and Birthday parties that I remember. The day to day stuff matters, but it is the memories you make for them that will shape their lives for when they have their own children. Now, that might be easier said than done, because I only have one child to worry about, but I am not ashamed at all to say that I spoil her, as much as I can. We don’t have a lot, and our family life isn’t ideal… but she knows without a doubt, that I love her and will always be there for her. I will never walk out on her. No matter how tough it gets, my daughter knows that we are in this together, as a team, it is us against the world! I wouldn’t have that any other way.
Sure, sometimes I wonder if she is missing out by not having a father in her life, but I also know that Heavenly Father loves her, and is always there for her, and he is there to guide me when I am at a loss. I have to remind myself that when I start feeling overwhelmed that I have no one to help me with the day to day task of raising her, or on the days that I have to wipe away her tears because we have to go to others for a Father’s Blessing or the day that she had no one to bring to school for, “Bring Your Dad To School” day in the 4th grade. But everything happens for a reason, and I think that we are both better people and our bond has been strengthened because we both know that we are in this together, no matter what comes our way. Ryan has a spinal disease that caused us to spend a good chunk of time this year at Shriners Hospital in Salt Lake City, where she had a major spinal fusion surgery. There are no words that could ever explain what it was like seeing my baby go through that much pain, but she is a champion, and it strengthened our bond more than ever. Being stuck together in a hospital room, out of state and alone, for the weeks we were there allowed us a chance to know what is important, and appreciate our lives and time together. It also gave me time to appreciate the miracle God had given me all over again. We have each other. I am so proud to be Ryan’s Mom.
We were in the middle of our Missionary lessons at Danielle’s mother-in-law and father-in-law’s house the week leading up to Miss Laila‘s birth, knowing that at any moment, our lessons and Baptism would be rescheduled if that little bundle of adorableness decided to make her entrance into the world. But, exactly a year ago today, was the first time I met Danielle and Tyson in person, and it was at our Baptism on January 5th, 2013. Danielle was EXTREMELY pregnant with Miss Laila, but they still came to our Baptism. Right after our confirmation the next day, on Sunday, January 6th, Shelly Davis got the call that Miss Laila was on her way! I will always remember the day Laila was born.
If you follow Danielle’s blog, then I’m sure you know the miracle that is that beautiful little girl named Laila. I am inspired every time I see the posts, and pictures about Laila, because I know that too many people take being a parent for granted. I feel a special bond with Danielle, even though I don’t know her extremely well. Because I know the unexplainable joy of hearing those words you never thought you would hear… “Congratulations, it’s a girl!” And I know first hand the Blessing of having that child, that you thought you would never get.
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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
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