Pregnancy

Pregnancy Stories After Miscarriage and Infertility

I had no idea that in 2020, I would find out that a miracle had happened & my life would be forever changed. We went to @sweetoburrito one of my most FAVORITE places to eat. 🤤 🌯 Because of #qurantinelife we went through the drive thru and brought it home. I was so excited to eat my favorite dinner ever and then it happened…. i took two bites and couldn’t eat anymore. I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back – it was my first symptom of pregnancy. 👶🏼 One of the first signs I am pregnant every time are food aversions. My most favorite foods that I LOVE – i can’t eat and it seriously drives me nuts because i would do anything for a buff chix burrito right now. 🤣 Anyways, I put it in the refrigerator and decided I would eat it the next day when I felt better. Little did I know the little burrito would never be eaten… because I would never feel better again. 🤣🤣

I hate pregnancy tests. Like I really hate them. After 11 years of infertility, you learn to train your mind to not ever think you need to take one, because the pain of the “one line” or “negative” symbol that lights up is such a trigger that can send you into a spiral of hard & dark feelings. Over the next 24 hours though after not being able to eat my burrito – I noticed a lot of little signs that made me think that I could be pregnant. 🖤 It was a weird feeling though, because like I said, I had trained my mind to never go down that road. But the symptoms were hard to brush away. Nothing sounded good to eat {and you all know how much i love food! 🤣}! I couldn’t run on the treadmill for longer than 20 seconds because specific body parts were SO sore! 🙈 My energy level was at a negative 17 {was blaming it on quarantine though & barely leaving the house}! 😴 And we were STILL waiting for my period to start so we could FINALLY start the shots for IVF. 💉 Tys encouraged me to take a test and told me to go into it knowing it was going to be negative – but to take it because if we WERE – I had to get on progesterone shots ASAP since we lost our first baby because of that. 😔 So I rummaged through a box under my bathroom sink and found a test and took it…and THAT was when 2 solid lines showed up immediately! 🙀 Like I said though, we have trained ourselves to not believe or get excited over those things so we didn’t believe it was true. I looked at the box & it had expired in 2019 so we thought it could be a fluke. So T went the store and bought THREE different brands 🤣 and I took all three of them… One at a time each one said positive. 🖤 Now you would think at this point we would get excited & celebrate – but we STILL didn’t believe it could be true – so I picked up the phone at 11pm and called the fertility center who made an appointment for me the next morning. 👶🏼

I sat in my car before going into the doctor’s office and said a prayer. 🙏🏼 I prayed to know that whatever was going to happen inside that building, that I would be able to just know that everything was going to be okay. 🖤 Because of Corona, they didn’t let Tys come with me. Only the patient is allowed in the office right now – so I knew I had to be brave because I didn’t really have anyone to lean on. 🖤 You see, I was feeling extremely anxious because we have lost a baby at 10 weeks before due to low progesterone and since I didn’t know how far along I was, I wasn’t sure if we were catching it too late – because I knew I would need to start shots or supplements ASAP! I draped the super cute white paper over myself and waited for the ultrasound tech to come in. She asked, “are you ready for this?” And I replied, “I really hope so!” And that was when it happened. Immediately on the screen a teeny tiny little dot appeared – with a flickering light that I learned was a heartbeat – measuring 6 weeks 1 day. 🖤 My blood work showed low progesterone {which I knew would be the case since this is my 4th pregnancy and my body never produces enough} and they put me on supplements immediately! The truth is, every day is a miracle with this little babe. We are taking it one day at a time. Kinda like we are taking the quarantine. 🙃🖤 If we get too wrapped up in the future and what ifs and think too much ahead, I get so nervous and uneasy. That is why we have decided to just take it a moment at a time. To feel grateful for every passing day that the little thing grows. I just had my 7 week appointment yesterday and everything continues to look good! The little dot has turned into a grain of rice! 🤣 And the little heartbeat I saw, was now loud enough to hear, which was music to my ears. 🎶 I hope that whatever battle you are fighting right now that you remember that there is SO much happiness around the corner for you. 🖤 I promise that everything will be okay in the end. So if it’s not okay… it’s not the end. I KNOW THAT. 🖤 Keep hanging on!! 😘