I spend a LOT of time on my computer and phone. It seems like I am ALWAYS writing, editing, social networking or e-mailing on my computer, phone or iPad. Electronic devices are just a part of me. They are a part of our society. They are really a part of each of us! In fact, you are reading this very article, at this very moment on an electronic device, aren’t you?
We went out to dinner a few weeks ago and a couple sat next to us. They were in their mid-fourties and seemed to have been together for a while. They were comfortable together and conversation flowed well. Suddenly, the woman received a text message and she replied to it. Then the man got a phone call and he answered it… and as the dinner date continued, eventually both the man and the woman were on their phones THE ENTIRE time. They didn’t say much to each other the rest of dinner. I just wanted to say to them, “PUT IT DOWN!”
About a week later I was playing with my one-year-old daughter. I had slept in and I needed to get something on to Instagram for the blog so I let her play with her toys, while I worked for a bit. After a few minutes, she came up to me and put her little hand on my forehead to pull my head up from my cell phone, took my phone from my hands, put it on the ground, gave me her doll and crawled away. At that moment, I looked at her big blue eyes that pierced me like she was yelling, “PUT IT DOWN!”
This past weekend we had put Laila to bed and it was time to relax. My husband sat down and I made myself comfortable next to him. Within SECONDS, both of our phones were out and in hand. Think about it! We had a busy day! We NEEDED to check our Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest and catch up on Words with Friends and Candy Crush, right?! We both recognized what we were doing. It honestly hit us both like a big slap on our cheeks – together we said, “Let’s PUT IT DOWN!”
I have learned a lot about electronics and how addicting they can be. I was so quick to judge the couple at the restaurant for being on their phones at the dinner table, but I hadn’t looked into my reality of my own home and how often I need to put the computer, phone or iPad down.
So how do we fix this? How do we recharge our relationships with our husbands, wives, children and friends? Three things to remember as you reach for your phone in front of your husband at the dinner table or in front of your children during play time or while at lunch with a friend:
1. TIME DOESNT STOP – When Laila gave me her doll to play with and crawled away, I realized that time is precious. Our little babies are growing up right in front of our faces! What have we missed? What will we miss? I know that I don’t want to miss a THING!
2. LITTLE THINGS CAN WAIT – I am very social and I love to keep up to date on all of my friends lives! Now that I blog full-time and am a full-time mom and a full-time wife – I rarely have time for my personal Social Networking. Sometimes I find myself getting antsy about wanting to get an article done or finish checking my email. But my smart and just so knowledgeable husband quickly reminds me, “the little things can wait.” An article, a picture – those things are small compared to family time and making memories!
3. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT- I have learned that what is most important involves the people around me. In the long run, it doesn’t matter if I get my blog post up at 7am or 10am. My family is what is most important. And being with them is my priority. Life is too short to be stuck in our phones all day! Cherish your role in your home and do your very best.
Now, lets be honest. I am NOT saying to throw your electronics away and never get on Social Media again. For heaven sakes, thats how I communicate with all of you! But what I do want to encourage each of us to do today and forever, is to be mindful of our surroundings. If the baby wants to play… play! If the baby wants to read a book… read a book! If your husband wants to watch a movie… watch a movie! If your wife wants to go shopping…. go shopping! If your friend needs someone to talk to… talk!
There is a time and a place for us to pull out our phones. I actually find it so relaxing to get on my phone before I fall asleep at night! I also love taking pictures and I constantly am taking them with my phone. I also work on my computer and phone every morning, nap time and evening. And that is TOTALLY fine! But there is also a time and place for us to put our phones away. As a blogger I often times have to remind myself that the computer can wait. The photo that needs to be edited can wait. The blog post can wait. What is most important is RIGHT in front of us. Our spouses. Our babies. Our families.
I know as you unplug from your phone, you will be able to recharge your relationships! As we separate ourselves from electronics and fully invest our time into our spouses, our love with grow for them. We will have more patience and we will have more time to communicate and understand them. We will also be able to have more time to play with our children and take them to the park, to the pool, to the library. Read to them, cuddle with them, hold them tight. As we do so, the people in our lives will recognize and know that they are more important to us than our cell phones and they won’t even have to say, “PUT IT DOWN!”
Don’t forget to share! –
Eliz Frank
May 14, 2014 at 6:10 am (11 years ago)Sadly, so many of us are married to our smartphones and barely notice how it affects communication. We need to be vigilant with our phones…
Danielle Davis
May 14, 2014 at 10:41 pm (11 years ago)Eliz, I couldn’t agree more. There are so many times when I need to step back and realize that I’m married to my husband, not my phone. I am definitely working on this and hope this post helps others engage more with their family members and loved ones.
Wendy Schultz
May 14, 2014 at 1:08 am (11 years ago)This is so true and I’ve become more and more aware of it as time has gone on. I always say we are the most disengaged engaged society. We spend more time socializing with the people online that we forget to socialize with the ones right in front of us!
Danielle Davis
May 14, 2014 at 11:16 pm (11 years ago)I totally agree Wendy! It’s so crazy how much I use my phone. What are some ways that you have started reengaging in your family? I started getting up earlier to blog so I have more time with my family.
Bismah
May 13, 2014 at 11:36 am (11 years ago)This is so true in today’s world! We do need to stop and realize that its not our phones and computers that have feelings but our families and friends. Time is so precious and so are they.
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:52 pm (11 years ago)Thank you for your comment!! Time really is so precious and it seems like we continue to forget that!
lisa jones
May 13, 2014 at 1:57 am (11 years ago)Technology Is Really Getting In The Way Of Our Family Time We Sure Do Need To Put Our Gadgets Down & Spend MORE Time With The Family!!
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:53 pm (11 years ago)Hi Lisa! YES!! Family first! <3
Gigi - My Fab Fit Forties
May 13, 2014 at 1:43 am (11 years ago)This is so important….and so hard to do sometimes! It’s hard to think back to a time where we didn’t have all these gadgets! “Back in my day……we actually sat around the table….and talked….to each other!!!” Leaving my iPad downstairs when I go up to bed has also helped my sleeping habits so much – I was only getting about 3 hours before…now some nights I even get 8!!
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:54 pm (11 years ago)haha!! I KNOW!! I honestly can’t imagine living without my phone. It is so weird to think that just a few years ago, a phone was an extra! Now it is a necessity for most!
Becca @ Bare Feet on the Dashboard
May 13, 2014 at 1:11 am (11 years ago)Yes!!! We have made the commitment to not use our phones or tech stuff during meals or during date night, but that whole scenario still plays out at our house. We need to put down our phones and connect.
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:54 pm (11 years ago)LOVE that commitment!! How is it going for you and your family? I know we try to do that too and it is sometimes hard!
Danialle
May 13, 2014 at 12:44 am (11 years ago)I know that I definitely spend too much time online. It is just so hard, especially when you’re a blogger. There is so much to do! But thank you for sharing, it has really made me re-think the time I spend online.
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:55 pm (11 years ago)I know exactly how you feel! I feel like I LIVE on my phone and computer, being a blogger!
Kim with sassyandclassymomma
May 12, 2014 at 11:40 pm (11 years ago)I can relate to this so much! Even before I started blogging I was addicted to my phone. My husband would always mention this, so I started making a conscious effort to make sure after the kids are in bed that he gets some undivided attention. I also give the kids some time where I am solely focused on them. It is important for any family to recognize this addiction and work on being addicted to each other instead 🙂
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:57 pm (11 years ago)Hi Kim! YES! You are spot on. As a blogger, i feel like Laila sees me on my computer way too much!! Working on putting it away when she is awake!
Maggie C
May 12, 2014 at 11:21 pm (11 years ago)I find it hard to put my phone down at night because that’s how I watch tv. Thanks for the tips!
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:57 pm (11 years ago)Understandable! TV is the perfect way to calm down at night.
Triplezmom
May 12, 2014 at 11:21 pm (11 years ago)This is something I am constantly working on. I try to leave my phone if I can – like leaving it in the car when we go to the park.
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:57 pm (11 years ago)I do too!! I sometimes pull it out to take pictures at the park though! 🙂
Heart of a Philanthropist Blogger Kim
May 12, 2014 at 10:54 pm (11 years ago)It is sad how technology replaced us actually talking to one another. Think about it. When is the last time you actually spoke to someone on your FB page? I have to admit it’s been awhile. thanks for the reminder to cut off tech and turn our lives back on.
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:58 pm (11 years ago)Such a good point!!! I NEVER talk to anyone now! It is almost always through text or FB messages!!
Kristy - Savvy and Sassy
May 12, 2014 at 10:43 pm (11 years ago)This is such a great reminder! In fact I’m getting off of the computer now to go cuddle with my little one. Thank you!
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:58 pm (11 years ago)You are so sweet!! I am too! LOL
debra p
May 12, 2014 at 10:42 pm (11 years ago)I agree. There’s a time for everything and I feel so recharged when I take a break from all the tech gadgets and go outside in nature or to lunch with a friend! Dinnertime with family is definitely not a time for phones.
Danielle Davis
May 13, 2014 at 10:59 pm (11 years ago)YES!! The best feeling is going outside and getting some fresh air while the phone is away!