Seeking Happiness

New Years is a time of reflection for me. I have been looking back at my life and have tried to reflect on the year 2013 and everything that happened in it. It has been a time of happiness, sadness, trials, love, compassion and service, but if I had to describe 2013 in one word, it would be CHANGE. My life changed. I have become a new person. Experiences that have happened, have made me who I am today. And I am different. I am not who I use to be.

Over the past 12 months a lot has happened. I had a baby, which meant I became a mom. I got the best promotion in the world. From being a Sales Manager at the most beautiful 5 diamond property in Las Vegas, I was able to become a stay at home mom. I went to Utah 5 times, Hawaii and California. I lost an angel cousin to brain cancer and my loving grandfather in one month. I was able to serve others and others served me as I was learning how to be a mom. I got to go for walks, have park dates and read books to a baby girl almost every day. I was able to support my incredibly talented husband as he juggled full time work and full time school. I have found true happiness.

I have always tried to come off as a happy individual, who loves to serve others, be a friend to  EVERYONE I come in contact with and have fun in every situation. I hate admitting this, but I haven’t always been so happy. For four years, I struggled with infertility and were the hardest times in my life thus far. After experiencing our first miscarriage, my heart longed for a baby. I NEEDED to be a mom. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and months even turned into years as I would take pregnancy test after pregnancy test with results that I didn’t want to see. All I wanted in life was a baby. I was sad and down on myself. I tried to be happy on the outside, but in the inside it was taring at my heart.

I would see moms all around me. Some were happy and some were sad. I was jealous of the happy ones, they had everything I wanted. And I was mad at the sad ones, for they didn’t see what they had in front of them. I found myself quick to anger, getting down on myself and upset about the littlest things that honestly didn’t even matter. I didn’t know why Heavenly Father wasn’t answering my prayers. They were sincere and heart-felt and my desire was a good one, It was something I knew He wanted me to do. So why wasn’t he letting it happen? I knew it had to stop. I couldn’t take it anymore! I wasn’t me anymore.

One day I heard the song, Where Can I Turn for Peace? It goes like this:

1. Where can I turn for peace?
   Where is my solace
   When other sources cease to make me whole?
   When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
   I draw myself apart,
   Searching my soul?
2. Where, when my aching grows,
   Where, when I languish,
   Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
   Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
   Who, who can understand?
   He, only One.
3. He answers privately,
   Reaches my reaching
   In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
   Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
   Constant he is and kind,
   Love without end.

What I didn’t realize during this hard time, but at that moment did… I had EVERYTHING I needed at that moment in my life. I could find happiness through hard times. He didn’t leave me. He reaches my reaching, even in my Gethsemane. On my darkest and saddest days, He was listening and loved me without end.

I was able to pick myself up that day and told myself I would be happy. I needed to find true joy in my life. I started focusing on other things in my life…my blessings. I made a list of everything that I was thankful for and couldn’t stop writing. The list turned into pages. I focused on my husband and we had the FUNNEST times together. We traveled, went on dates, stayed up late laughing, went to concerts and made the most of life. I focused on my career and had an amazing job. I met people that will be my friends forever. And I worked hard on becoming a better ME. I prepared myself for what I hoped one day would come true, that I would be the best mom to a miracle baby. I finally found TRUE happiness.

Photo credit to Echo Studios. 

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time!”

Now, as I look back on those years… Heavenly Father had a plan. He knew that it wasn’t time for me to be a mom. I had a lot to learn and I had to prepare to become who I needed to be for Laila. I do know that everything happens for a reason and the greatest blessings are truly worth waiting for. So while we are waiting, why not find happiness? I am grateful I was able to find happiness through my hard times. And I am continuing to find my happiness in the most triumphant times of learning how to be a mom.

All of us can find happiness. We all deserve it. I know that it is in front of us, as long as we seek for it. I hope this year, we can be happy. If you are wanting something, have patience. If you are sad about something, turn to our Father in Heaven. He hears and answers ALL of our prayers. If you are looking for happiness, I hope you find it… I know you will.

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

January 5, 2014 by Danielle Davis | 0 comment