Think It May Not Happen To You? Ten Tips In Case It Does

Hey! I am Robyn and I have been married to my “first kiss” for 10 years. I have 3.89 kids (one coming in September) and we enjoy dance parties, beat-boxing, and never taking our selves too seriously. I have spent the Decade in the dance world. Specifically creating and owning a studio here in Utah, but I have now passed the studio owner torch and I am living my best life as a karaoke enthusiast, self – defense advocate, freelance Street dancer and mom!

Sharing self-defense and spreading awareness is personal and important to me. As an 18-year-old, I was attacked and sexually assaulted in broad daylight while running. Because of some basic self-defense I was taught when I was 12, I was able to fight myself away. I have had the opportunity to talk to thousands of women of self-defense and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. (OK maybe I’ll take a break when the baby comes)  I am the world‘s biggest goof off and you can catch me dancing in public, singing loudly in the grocery store, and doing old drill team military moves on the fly. In other words, hardcore embarrassing my hubby on the daily especially on my IG @aflyonmywall!

Maybe being attacked and/or sexually assaulted is not even on your radar of possible scenarios. Or maybe you have thought “It will never happen to me”. Or maybe it has happened to you. In fact, it is likely it has happened to one of your friends or loved ones. Or quite frankly this is a fear of yours and it gives you some anxiety.

I have had the opportunity to meet and talk with thousands of women on the topic of self-defense and safety awareness. And though it has not happened to every single one of those THOUSANDS of women I have met, it has happened to HUNDREDS I have met with personally. THAT IS A LOT.

All of our stories are different and unique. But the one thing we all have in common is: We all thought at some point, “That will never happen to me”.

I like to refer self-defense to a pilot in flight school. Of course, he hopes and assumes a bird strike, engine failure, or plane error will never happen to him while flying, but he is STILL taught what to do in case it does.  The pilot is prepared for every bad scenario. And likely, it will never happen to him. But what if it does? That pilot will have an arsenal of knowledge on “what to do if”, instead of “I have no idea”, likely saving him and the entire flight from a potential catastrophe.

I could give you pages of tips on how to prevent an assault and the dos/don’ts on how to not make yourself a target. But let’s go to a place we don’t always go. Let’s skip past the preventative and jump to the actual event. There are some key things you should/shouldn’t do DURING an attack.

So sit back, listen up, and open up your arsenal. Your about to get some key tips on.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU ARE ATTACKED?

#1 Yell as loud as you can. Never stop making noise.  The last thing your attacker wants is attention. Yell your location and name. If possible, call 911 and repeatedly yell your location and name.

Have you ever been outside and hear a child screaming? Likely yes, and likely you did nothing noteworthy. Screaming can sound like someone is having fun. Have you ever been outside and heard, “HELP, IM BEING KIDNAPPED. THIS IS NOT MY DAD. HELP ME”. Do you think you would do something noteworthy if you heard those words? Yelling and screaming is NOT the same thing. And it’s something you must practice as well as teach your kids. Screaming comes naturally. Yelling “call to action” words does not.

#2 Never stop moving. Kick, punch, wiggle, scratch, bite, spit, head bang, throw dirt in their eyes, etc. The more you move, the harder it is for the attacker to proceed. It also sends a message that you are not giving up and you are choosing to fight back.

#3 Do not let them pick you up and move locations.  Do whatever it takes to stay where you are and not be taken somewhere else.  You should have called for help at this point. If help comes and you are now gone, the situation has worsened. Leaving the location of your attack also gives your attacker more power.

#4 Pay close attention to your attacker. Know their eye color, height, hair color, facial features, clothes, and any other noticeable features that would help you describe and point them out later. What if they get away and you must point them out days later, months later, years later? Its crucial you pay attention to what they look like.

#5 Talk to the attacker.  It makes you seem more human and could confuse them and slow them down. For me, when I asked my attacker his name and why he was doing this, he would pause. It was almost as if he was looking at me and realizing I was a person and not an item, and there would be consequences. Those few seconds gave me a chance to re-strategize my escape.

#6 Choose to fight back.  Go for their vulnerable spots such as esophagus, eyes, hair, groin areas, face, and pressure points. Aim for anything that is made for “breathing or breeding”. People can strengthen their abs, legs, and other areas to offer protection from a hit, but there are some body parts everyone is equally vulnerable too. Don’t waste your energy and strength trying to punch or kick. Gouge their eye out or collapse their windpipe with a quick strike to the “adams apple”. You may think you could never do such a thing- but trust me- YOU CAN, AND YOU WILL if your life depends on it.

#7 Stay calm and alert.  This is hard to do, but make sure you continue to breath, and focus on the task at hand: Fighting back.

#8 If they pull out a weapon keep fighting. Weapons are typically used for intimidation and sometimes they are fake, un-loaded or the attacker doesn’t want to use them. Either way you’re in bad situation so you may as well keep fighting and trying to escape.

#9 After being attacked never go home.  Never change your clothes or wash your body.  Go straight to police/hospital.  This way all the evidence remains on you and there is no chance of your attacker following you home. The sooner you contact authorities and let them know what happened, the better. BUT it doesn’t matter if it happened 1 week ago, 1 year ago or 30 years ago, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO REPORT IT.

#10 Find professional help. Tell a family member, a friend, a trusted confidant and then let them help you find professional help. If you confide in someone and they do not believe you, find someone else. Keep telling until someone blows the whistle and gets you the help and support you need and deserve. Making sure you get the help you need to recover and cope is crucial.

Your arsenal of knowledge is now more stocked then it was before you read this.  If you are feeling a slight “flame” of fear or anxiety in you, that is ok. Just don’t let it escalate into a wild fire. I always encourage taking a formal self-defense class where you will learn this, plus additional information to help you feel more prepared. For safety tips on all areas, stop by @aflyonmywall where I share my best knowledge, twice a week! 

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

September 19, 2019 by Danielle Davis | 1 Comment