“Good Luck you two!”
“Love each other forever!”
“Kiss every single day!”
“If you are going to fight… fight naked!”
After I read that one, I started laughing.
I was dusting our shelves when our sign-in book from our wedding fell off of it. I decided to open it up and glance through it for a minute. What was going to be a five-second glance, turned into a thirty-minute cry festival!
It was crazy to think that this book had sat on my shelf now for nearly seven years. In it was the best advice that could change any marriage!
It was full of wisdom and love. From the young and the old. The experienced and the new. And their messages were true.
As I read through them, turning page by page, I wanted to make copies to hand out to the world! Here is the BEST advice for a happy marriage – these are 10 things to keep in mind to find joy when it feels impossible, to find hope when in doubt and to find love when it is hard to find.
Photos in this article are by Canico Studios
1. NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE A TEAM: The moment you say “I DO” – you are promising to be a team! Not a, “You do 50% and I will put in my 50%” kind of team – it is a 100% from him and a 100% from you, kind of team. Team mates work together. They support each other. They compliment each other. They help each other feel good about themselves. In a team, one is not over the other – they are equal.
2. HIS FAMILY IS NOW YOUR FAMILY: When you get married, two families unite. Make a list of your favorite things about your family and your favorite things about his family – and make your own family! Make sure you spend time with his family and try to form relationships with his parents and siblings. You are one of “them” now – so find your role and play your part.
3. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES: You will make mistakes. Your husband will make mistakes. We are human and we aren’t perfect. Know though, that even if he makes a mistake – it isn’t the end of the world. Just like every other guy on the planet, he isn’t perfect… and that is okay! In fact, maybe it was his imperfections that made you fall in love with him in the first place. “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person, perfectly.”
4. FORGIVENESS IS KEY: So… about those mistakes and imperfections – how do we get over them? Forgiveness. Sometimes it is easier said than done, but forgiveness is vital in a marriage. In order to continue progressing together and falling more in love – you must communicate and forgive. Let him know that something is bothering you, talk about it and find a solution. We have learned it is better to just get it off our chests when it happens, rather than keep it in and hold a grudge.
5. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES: If the cap is always off the toothpaste… should you say something? If the toilet paper roll is never replaced… should you say something? If the dishes aren’t done EXACTLY how you would like them to be done… should you say something? I don’t think there is anything wrong with acknowledging it, but be careful how you word it. I actually learned this the hard way.
I love doing the dishes and I like them to be done a specific way… but one day my husband came up ahead of me and did them. Instead of thanking him, I got upset because they weren’t done how I would like them to be done. Dumbest mistake EVER!! That was so nice of him to help – and what a SILLY thing for me to get upset about. Before you bite his head off, think about if it is REALLY worth it.
6. LAUGHING IS CONTAGIOUS: It is so important in marriage to have FUN! You HAVE to laugh. You HAVE to. It isn’t even a question. A couple that laughs together, stays together! Don’t take things too seriously.
We have a family motto. We actually made it up right when we got married and it is “DBD.” Can anyone guess what that might stand for? It means: DON’T BE DUMB. Not in a mean way – but like, don’t be dumb and get upset over silly things. And don’t be dumb and make bad choices. And don’t be dumb and say mean things. This motto has helped us and we even have it on our entertainment center so we can see it every day.
Don’t forget to have FUN! Don’t forget to date. Don’t forget to play and take some time just for the two of you. Don’t forget to smile. Don’t forget to make each other laugh.
7. CHANGES WILL COME: In my article, The Changes A Baby Brings, you can read all about what kinds of changes I am talking about here. BUT – a baby isn’t the only thing that can bring a change in your marriage. You may move. You may find a new job. You may pick up a new hobby. You may meet new friends. We all change – and that is a good thing. We should always be progressing and becoming better individuals, but I would like to emphasize that these changes and growing matters – should be together as a couple. You should grow together….as a team.
Set goals as a family and work to achieve them. We always love having a little project that we work on together. We find it brings us closer together as we do our parts in achieving our accomplishments. Your love will grow stronger as you spend time together working on something you both want to be successful at.
8. WORDS HURT TOO: You know the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I am here to say…. that words do hurt. In fact, when they come from a spouse, your very best friend, your eternal companion – they hurt even worse. Think before you speak.
My mom always reminded me growing up, “Kindness begins with me.” As a married woman now, I always try to remember that. Let us be kind to our spouses. Let us say uplifting and positive things to each other.
9. BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER: We always used the phrase, “BFF” growing up – and you can actually really be BFF {Best Friends Forever} with your spouse! I have 10 Ways To Stay Best Friends With Your Husband here that might give you some guidelines.
I remember on my Honeymoon – I had a little “wife moment.” I looked at my new husband and just stared at him {he thought I was crazy}! It hit me at a random second, while driving along the shore in Maui that I was on vacation, alone, with my HUSBAND! It was just me and him! There was nobody else on this earth that I would have rather been with at that moment. We should always remember that. You marry your best friend and he should stay your best friend.
10. NEVER GIVE UP: Last, but certainly not least is to NEVER give up. Not on him. Not on you. Not on your marriage. When hard times come {and they will!} stay close together through spending time together, praying together, laughing together, forgiving together and just BEING together.
Think about what is most important in your life – it is probably your family, yes? Make sure they are your priority and never give up on them. I love the quote by Thomas S. Monson, “What is most important almost always involves the people around us.”
I know that life isn’t perfect and hard times will come. BUT I do know that love can last, if we focus on what matters most.
Join the newsletter
Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
Google+