To My Wife Struggling With Infertility

To my best friend and wife,

I think I am the luckiest man in the world. I have a beautiful wife and a miracle daughter – what more could I ask for?

When we met ten years ago, I never would have thought I would be writing to you about this sensitive subject today. Over the years we have overcome so much together. In fact, I look back on our time and I smile because of everything we have been through! And not only have we been through it…but we made it out even stronger!  

We have come a long way, haven’t we?

When we first met, there was no way of me knowing the amount of happiness and hope you would bring into my life. The light in your countenance has helped both of us cope with one of life’s bitter lessons…patience.

Together, we have been given a really REALLY difficult trial. Infertility. Infertility is something I never thought would be so hard. So hard on you. So hard on me. So hard on our relationship and marriage. So hard on our life together.

Today I write to you with a few things I hope that you will always remember – but especially that you will remember over the next couple of years as we are in the middle of trying to grow our little family.

I hope you remember that I am watching you. Through your longing eyes I have seen the precious love of a mother, who wants nothing more than to see her righteous desires and prayers answered. I have seen you discover so much more than what you thought was ever possible. I have seen you crumble and learn to build yourself up to be stronger, day by day. At your lowest points, you have found lessons and taught me to be real through tears as we build for a better tomorrow. I love your example and want to be more like you every day.

I hope you remember that you can cry…and it’s okay. Admittedly, emotions do not come naturally to most husbands and I have appreciated you understanding my learning curve as I cry with you. Darkness has surrounded us at times, but every day has gotten brighter as we have chosen to trust in each other and in powers larger than us both. You say you are ugly when you cry, but I think you look beautiful no matter what. I will hold you when you need a hug, I will catch you when you fall and I will be a shoulder to cry on any time, any where.

I hope you remember to smile – as much as possible. Because never have I seen a more beautiful sight. I fell in love with that pretty smile of yours. Your smile can make any random stranger’s day brighter and seeing you smile, makes me smile.

I hope you remember that bad days come. You are the rock in our family. You are always so positive and trying to be as happy as possible for everyone around you – but don’t forget that bad days are going to come, and that that is okay too. Everyone has bad days. Bumps are ahead. BIG bumps, even MOUNTAINS that we are going to have to climb. But as we press forward together – we will get through anything.

I hope you remember that you are never alone. That I want to have a baby JUST as much as you do. I want to see you as a mother again and I want to be a father again. I want our little girl to have a sibling. Giving you shots, is scary for me too. Seeing your eyes fill up with tears, makes me cry too. Every negative test. Every bad result. Every pain you feel – I feel for you as well. In fact, if I could, I would take it all away from you and put it on myself.

I hope you remember to never lose that hope that is inside of you. We have learned that every new day brings with it potential blessings, even if they are sometimes hard to find. I have learned that there are days when you feel down. Days when you hear buzzwords from family members or friends that remind you of the void you long to fill. But it is in those moments when I see in you, that girl I met when I was 15 years old, with the smile on her face and hope in her eyes. It’s in those moments that I am grateful for you and for the strength that is found in us. I hope you never lose that light and hope – because I know I never will.

I hope you remember that I love you no matter what. The crazy thing about this, is that whatever the outcome is in the end, all I really need is YOU. We can do daily shots, thousands of tests, hundreds of procedures and countless surgeries…but if it all fails, it is going to be okay because I have you. If we have to go through all this stuff to grow our family, I am so glad that I get to do it with you. That I get to be right by you through it all and experiencing this together. And whether this works or not – it doesn’t matter. Because we have got each other.

I hope you remember how strong you are. You are strong. A whole lot stronger than me. In fact women, like you become the strongest mothers before your children are even conceived. A strong woman is not the one who doesn’t cry. A strong woman is the one who cries and sheds many tears for a moment, then gets up and fights again! And that is exactly who you are.

I hope you remember how grateful I am for you. I am truly eternally grateful for the woman and mother that you are. Our babies are SO blessed to have YOU as their mom. If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting.

I know that the future will bring us something even better than we hope for because as we push forward together, I will have you by my side.

Love, Your husband

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

May 23, 2016 by Danielle Davis | 2 Comments